Scary!! I’ve just changed my blog theme!!!

I can’t believe it, After having notebook for over a year I have decided to give my blog a renovation. I had been thinking about it for a while now but I had a touch of but I don’t want to change to I really need a change. So change I did!! It was time. I finally found a theme that I could feel really happy about.

It’s called Rusty Grunge by Chris Wallace.

I like it because the design has blue and orange with white for the background to the main ideas. I felt like it expressed who I was a bit more than my previous theme.  It has a good sense of balance and great clarity. Although I loved Notebook, it really was time to move on.

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Another Happy Day

Today was a good day just like yesterday.

It’s been hard to experience the joy lately but joy is making it’s comeback.  I’ve heard so many people say to me recently that I have to be kind to myself. I use to know how to that but somewhere along the line I forgot what being kind to one self is. I’ve had to start again and humbly ask God to help me as this depression is all new to me.

Yesterday I had sushi and enjoyed the sun. Today I decided that I was not going to stress over things that are beyond me as My Father in heaven loves me more than the sparrow. I can feel the hope creeping back and my real smile is returning as I see the light finally at the end of that over talked about tunnel.

I think this song captures the feeling

Sushi- I call it happy food!!

When ever I have sushi it makes me feel happy and that’s why I call it happy food. I don’t know if there is any scientific proof that backs my theory but it works for me.

I didn’t think that I was a person who would like sushi but since giving it a go I have to say it’s pretty awesome!

I have been quite depressed of late, which is strange for me as I am usually a happy little chappy but never mind we all get a crack at it sometime or another!! (a bout of depression that is)

Today I was kind to myself and went for a drive to my home town to replenish my tower of novels. I then went for a walk down the street and got me some sushi mmm mmmm.

A library visit, coffee, my happy pill, a walk in the sun, sushi and happiness 🙂

Nice

Weekly Photo Challenge: Create

There are many ways that a person can create.

Below are some of the tools that I use when I create  a painting

I love this little suit case. I bought it at Windang markets for $2.50. I love it because it reminds me of the type of suit case I had when I was in primary school!!!

Here are some more tools that are used to create a different type of art.

You can use music to create atmosphere!!

The picture below shows how you can create using a few different mediums.

I created the first image with my iphone using Instagram. I then created an blurb book which informed the drawing which is on the left. I then made a diptic image which then went through Instagram again!!!

That was a mouthful!!

Frustrating book search!!!

Frustration, frustration!!!

I am trying to search for a book that I read years ago in which I had  thoroughly enjoyed but forgot who wrote it and what it was titled!! I have been on the search for a number of years now with no suitable outcome. I asked the library about it, I have search author and book lists and I have Googled so many times. Next I’ll be asking random strangers on the street if they could help me with my book search!!!

It is an Australian novel that is narrated by a husband and wife. The wife believes that she has killed her neighbour so she buries her in the back yard and plants a flower garden. The guilt of this over time sends her crazy. The point of view from the husband is, he sees that his wife is very fond of her garden but is alarmed as she becomes increasingly disturbed over time.

There is also a nice little twist at the end!!

Anyway, does this story ring a bell? If so please let me know and I will be thankful for your knowledge!!!

I’ve cut down all my trees

This is a very odd statement but it describes how I currently feel right now.

I have always been a coper in life knowing that my inner resources were in tact and well able to get me through whatever obstacle’s  that would come my way. Today, not so.

If my inner strength were trees then I have cut them all down and all have been consumed.

I know this because I have been crying everyday for about a month (perhaps more) and I have cried at every social place that I go to. I burst into tears at Coffee group, My time, Church, Kidzwish (a local charity), at my son’s school and at the shopping centre.

I had to finally ask myself “am I depressed???” I took myself to the Doctors this week to address my swollen ankles and heart palpitations and the good news is, my body is okay. It would be very easy for me to overlook the emotional side, as I’ve always been strong on the inside but when you have chopped down all of your trees????

In the past I have survived on being stoic but I can no longer rest on that, I can no longer say I’m okay when I’m not and I can no longer be like the black knight in the Monty Python And the Holy Grail!!! “It’s just a flesh wound”

I have to get real and accept whatever help I can get and it’s okay to say I’m not okay!!!

I need to do a swap with God: give him my burdens for his Grace…Awesome, bring it oooonnn with an anti-depressant included 🙂

Yes me!! taking a happy pill….I’m feeling good already. I thought that I would never see this day but I am walking away from stoicism, so it’s a given that I have to do things differently.

If you are like me and are struggling to EVEN recognised that you are  depressed then ask your loved ones for their opinion. If they say yes then seek help!! Go to your local GP, check out what is available to you but get help!!!!…..Don’t worry I am preaching to myself!!!!!!!!

Here is a check list that may be of assistance. HAPPY HAPPY JOY

Weekly Photo Challenge: Today

Today I went to the Medical Centre.

I have very good blood pressure!

My Mum  always had very good blood pressure even when she was acutely ill with Pulmonary Fibrosis !

I don’t have that, but I have swollen ankles that I must get checked out.

But at least my blood pressure is good!

My coffee Table reality!!

I have always been a messy person and at times feel a little embarrassed when other women folk talk about how messy men seem to be.

Uh hum (awkward cough inserted when women folk ask for my opinion about what to do with messy husband or son)

The truth is, I am one messy chick who could be accursed of being somewhat blokey because men seem to always get the blame for messy housekeeping. So as a tribute to being honest about life and being a little inspired by this post here is a shot of my coffee table as it is.

Well, yes, indeed it is very disorganised and clutter is present but on closer inspection one cannot over look the fact that a cultured, well read person owns that coffee table!! Just check out that mammoth epic of a novel that’s sitting there!! Anna Karenin by Tolstoy. It’s a great book but it’s taking me forever!!

Life sometimes is messy and at the moment my life reflects this table.

So here’s to sticking it to stoicism, which is totally overrated!!!!!