Weekly Photo Challenge: Nostalgic

The red radio that is on the top shelf belonged to my paternal Grandma and the canister’s that are below were bought at a garage sale for $3 and they remind me of my maternal Grandmother (Granny).

Both of my Grandmothers have passed away and they have left some great memories behind. Both Grandma’s were creative and I’m sure they have passed their talents to us.

My paternal Grandma, Thelma, was an artist and writer. Just recently I saw one of her paintings still on the wall at the primary school in Minnamurra. Even more recently, one of my cousins told me that she used to make teepee’s (is that where I got it from?). My Grandma taught me how to knit and for my son, knitted that very last piece before she passed away. Grandma  pursued many different creative activities and seemed to really enjoy doing so.

My maternal Grandmother, Granny Rita, was hilarious and quick-witted. She was in the army at war-time and taught us many army ditties. She too was a bit of a writer and would write little poems in cards for birthdays. They were always funny ditties. Granny had bad arthritis but only complained when it was about to rain “Arthur’s  playing up, think it’s going to rain”. She was also an avid reader like myself and we kind of had our own little book club as we would talk about what we were reading.

But I don’t want a Monopoly on Pain

Quite a number of years ago I was part of a writer’s  group held at a lady’s house who had a passion for people to pen their memoirs. Every week it would cost $11 and we would sit around a table with yummy snacks and commence with our writing exercises  This was such a great time in my life as I was exploring another creative expression that I could add to my artistic repertoire.

I attended this group for a number of years when after some time, one of the other writers seemed to want to get out her knives an attack me every week. It came to a head one week as I was reading out a piece of my work, when she went on the war path claiming that she felt sorry for me because I was too happy!!! She just kept pouring out the wrath with a condescending attitude that left me defending my own painful experiences in life until I burst into tears and said “Why are you picking on me? Your not the only person who has experienced pain in their life???”

This woman was suffering from the grief of losing her mother to Alzheimer’s disease and couldn’t seem to see past her own pain. It had tainted her view on everything that seemed to give her permission to attack anyone who had joy in their life.

Why am I thinking of this woman now after all this time?

I don’t want to become like her and think that I have a monopoly on pain.

Right now I am in a place where any advice that I receive just gets thrown back at the person because I’m done with advice. I say F you constantly in my head to anybody who annoys me and have been having public melt downs quite frequently. I am heavy with the grief of losing my mum and I am laden with the ongoing grief of having a child with a disability.

I am in battle with my soul as I do not want to feel sorry for myself and have been quick to embrace the life I have before me, yet I am tired of dealing with it. I have been finding myself feeling sadness that my child has not developed at the pace of his peers. That when I went to playgroup he’d have melt downs, that he hates the Wiggles, that he’d rather watch the NEWS then be entertained by Playschool.

I have been quick to be positive about my life and I’ve always been that person who will be okay no matter what happens in my life but right now I am suffocating  in pain and it seems like nobody gets it. I do not want to be overcome with bitterness like that women from my past, I don’t want to give myself permission to me rude to my fellow human kind. and go on the attack.

I want to be free and forgive. I want to have Grace with others. I want more of The Father’s love. I want more of Heaven’s plan. I want to swim in the river of life. I want to be healed.

And I Shall Read Novels

For the next three months I am looking forward to reading novels and gobbling them down like a juicy fruit!!

I’ve decided to take a break from the next study period and recommence my studies in August as I feel very worn out at the moment. I think I’m still recovering from the Christmas holidays when I very unwisely undertook two subjects and nearly had a mental breakdown!!!!

So, on Wednesday I submitted my last assignment for my current subject and now I am looking forward to the many novels that one can read within a three-month period. It really feels like I’m going on a holiday whoo hoo!! Lets pack my creative writing bags and go on a literacy journey that has nothing to do with academic reading that requires me to respond in an academic way…it’s just all so dry!!

I am going to look forward to this time guilt free and I will regain my motivation that is required to maintain when undertaking studies of any kind. I will stop and smell the flowers and enjoy the Autumn/winter light. I will take my journal to all of my favourite cafes and just write self indulgent stuff that requires no referencing of any kind, because they are my words and they shall not be marked at all!! I shall walk slowly and take many photo’s with my iphone and drench them through Instagram like a cattle dipping experience. Well perhaps this isn’t the best way to describe it but it kind of had a groovy ring to it, so being an artist I just went for it.

I shall walk around with a smile on my face and will talk to many random strangers, which by the way is not creepy because I’m not creepy. I will be content, shall be recharged and ready to deal with stuff that I otherwise have not been able to handle of late. I will watch TV, I shall visit the library and most importantly I shall read novels!!!!!!!!

200th Post!!

Hi there all who read this,

I am pleased to announce that I have reached the 200 post mile stone!!! I am really pleased by this as it means that I have hung in there and have been a diligent writer.

Quite a few years back I belonged to a writing group and we would meet at our facilitator’s house, read our pieces of writing, fulfil writing challenges and eat olives, cheese and crackers.

I was quite sad when I could no longer attend the group and my writing ceased for a bit. Apart from when we went fruit picking and I kept a journal of our adventures.

When my brother was raving on about blogging I didn’t think I could keep it up but eventually he convinced me that I should. I’m glad I caved as writing a blog gives me that same challenge as when I went to my writing group.

Okay, there is no olives, cheese and crackers but the accountability is there as I attempt the weekly photo challenge or I try to post at least three times a week. Writing has always been  important to me just as painting or any creative pursuit so blogging has become a strong part of my creative expression!!!!

Another part of the blogging experience that I love is the interactions and friendships that I have made.  Thanks to all who visit my blog and leave comments 🙂

So here’s to my 2ooth mile stone!!!

Celebrating my 100th post!!!!

To make to my 100th post really makes me feel quite chuffed as it shows me that this blogging thing isn’t just a fad but now part of my regular doing of life.

I love the process of writing and always have. Years ago I was a part of a writer’s group where we met weekly, had homework, did  on the spot writing and had to read our words out to receive feedback. Although I don’t go to that writing group anymore, I feel through blogging it gives me that same type of satisfaction.

I love taking my journal to any cafe to commence with writing down my thoughts. I miss painting and it has been put on hold for a little bit so blogging has been very important part of my creative process. When I was describing to a fellow painter friend about my lack of painting production he very wisely answered with this “Tamar what is drawing or painting? it is an activity where you put a selection of lines together to create an image that is seen with the eye! now what is writing? An activity where you put a selection of lines together to create an image that is seen with the mind”

I thought his response was genius and I am always thinking about that statement whenever I’m being creative of some sort. It really doesn’t matter what medium you use to express your self, just as long as you do.

Blogging ideas

I’ve been having lots of fun with the 30 day song challenge and I’ve come to realise that it’s a great platform to lauch interesting writing idea’s. For instance, day 4 had me thinking of a sad song but I couldn’t choose just one so I wrote a blog about all the sad songs. I now  feel inspired to write more on the topic of a sad song and I can see how one idea spawns a whole bunch of other ideas.

Tomorrow I’m to share a song that reminds me of someone. The song I’ve chosen reminds me of my best friend which then leads me to write about  all of our fun laughing adventures we had together (usually sipping tea at 4am in the morning).

If you have a writer’s block then I suggest giving the 30 song challenge ago, even if it’s to just to inspire idea’s. It has certainly got me thinking and on a  roll. I wrote in a previous blog about when writer’s block strikes what can be done to overcome it. I hope somehow this helps spark some ideas for anyone who is struggling to write their next post?

Happy blogging!!!

Tamar!! just write anything….something!!

I’ve missed my weekly blog, I was trying to do the weekly challenge and was going really well except just recently. So what does one to get back into blogging? I suggest to myself that I just start writing. Tamar just start again and there’s no time like the present.

I used to go to a writing group quite a few yrs ago now and I remember there was a discussion about writer’s block. It was suggested to there is no such thing as writer’s block because there are many ways to get the brain ticking and most of all you just need to start.

So that’s why I’m writing this blog, to kick-start my brain again to get back into the discipline of writing something every week. I find this is the same with art, you just need to start. Admittedly I haven’t done a painting in ages but I’ve been busy doing creative things so I don’t mind.

Today I had a wonderful time cafe journaling. It was the first time in ages I was able to do so, as life had gotten a little busy and unfortunately I was avoiding someone at the cafe. I know, that’s a really strange thing to say but the person I was avoiding was really strange too. When I do my cafe journaling I want to be at peace with myself and when I talk to random stranger’s it usually very pleasant.

However on this account of verbal exchanging, it went to an unpleasant place. There was an overbearing nature to the conversation and according to my husband “a bit stalkerish”. My husband wasn’t there but I told him about the interaction and when that person later rang my house my hubby answered and that’s when he got the “stalker” idea in his head!!

So at first I just avoided my usual cafe time, but then a friend of mine explained to me that why should I be the one who has to change. This is my thing and I’ve been doing it for over a year, it’s a thing that replenish’s me and when I’m writing in my journal at a cafe it makes me feel good!

So I have reclaimed my usual cafe morning’s and the person I’ve been avoiding hasn’t been there for ages. I know this because I asked the girls who work there. They all knew who I was talking about, he’s getting quite the reputation. So with that distraction out of the way I’ve returned to something that refuel’s me and gives me joy.

I hope this blog makes sense, it is a bit of a ramble lol

Blogging and Zumba

Ever since i’ve started Zumba and more recently blogging, my husband seems very fascinated by these two activities. I’ve shown him some of the zumba moves, he really likes it when I do that and then he gleefully calls me zumba girl. or says “love ya zumba moves”.

My new thing: blogging, seems to have really captured his attention “hey you should blog about this, you should blog about that”. I said to him that he should start a blog himself and blog about him telling me what to blog about. Any way perhaps he should join me at zumba one day or perhaps he should start blogging himself. Who knows??