Go Play

About two years ago I was sitting in our new church building

and I believe this is what God told me;

That the church was like a tree-house and the land was his. That he was my Heavenly Father and I was to go and play.

At the time I thought “aww that’s nice” but I did not recognize the significance of this until just recently. For the past year I have been dealing with depression due to many stresses of life  that have had me feeling like there was no hope and nothing will ever change in our lives. Praise God that for the past six months I’ve been coming out of it with an abundance of joy!!

So what happened???? I went to the Doctor and got some happy pills 🙂

Not just that alone, as I still had my faith in spite of feeling lost, one of the scriptures that kept me going was this Habakkuk 3:17  I posted it on our fridge to remind me that everything will be okay.

The other thing that has helped, has been my garden adventures. I have never felt so creative in all of my life and I am having the best fun ever. God showed me that the first dwelling place that he made for humans was a garden. It came as such a revelation as I continued to enjoy the space at the community garden. Being out in nature in the sunshine with other people is so good for emotional well-being that I totally recommend anyone who is suffering depression to just go and be a part of a community garden, even if you just sit for a while.

So I sat for a while and then I started to get creative, here are some of my adventures

What have I been up to??

I have been playing.

This then brings me back to my vision that I had nearly two years ago when God told me to go  play!!!!

I have and through this experience I am learning what being childlike is all about. I am learning that as adults we can still play and the things that get us down in this world should not be taking so much of our valuable time. I am learning that God really does desire to be our Heavenly Father. I am learning to receive and not be so stoic in life. I am learning to just be me.

Advertisements

Another Happy Day

Today was a good day just like yesterday.

It’s been hard to experience the joy lately but joy is making it’s comeback.  I’ve heard so many people say to me recently that I have to be kind to myself. I use to know how to that but somewhere along the line I forgot what being kind to one self is. I’ve had to start again and humbly ask God to help me as this depression is all new to me.

Yesterday I had sushi and enjoyed the sun. Today I decided that I was not going to stress over things that are beyond me as My Father in heaven loves me more than the sparrow. I can feel the hope creeping back and my real smile is returning as I see the light finally at the end of that over talked about tunnel.

I think this song captures the feeling

Sushi- I call it happy food!!

When ever I have sushi it makes me feel happy and that’s why I call it happy food. I don’t know if there is any scientific proof that backs my theory but it works for me.

I didn’t think that I was a person who would like sushi but since giving it a go I have to say it’s pretty awesome!

I have been quite depressed of late, which is strange for me as I am usually a happy little chappy but never mind we all get a crack at it sometime or another!! (a bout of depression that is)

Today I was kind to myself and went for a drive to my home town to replenish my tower of novels. I then went for a walk down the street and got me some sushi mmm mmmm.

A library visit, coffee, my happy pill, a walk in the sun, sushi and happiness 🙂

Nice

I’ve cut down all my trees

This is a very odd statement but it describes how I currently feel right now.

I have always been a coper in life knowing that my inner resources were in tact and well able to get me through whatever obstacle’s  that would come my way. Today, not so.

If my inner strength were trees then I have cut them all down and all have been consumed.

I know this because I have been crying everyday for about a month (perhaps more) and I have cried at every social place that I go to. I burst into tears at Coffee group, My time, Church, Kidzwish (a local charity), at my son’s school and at the shopping centre.

I had to finally ask myself “am I depressed???” I took myself to the Doctors this week to address my swollen ankles and heart palpitations and the good news is, my body is okay. It would be very easy for me to overlook the emotional side, as I’ve always been strong on the inside but when you have chopped down all of your trees????

In the past I have survived on being stoic but I can no longer rest on that, I can no longer say I’m okay when I’m not and I can no longer be like the black knight in the Monty Python And the Holy Grail!!! “It’s just a flesh wound”

I have to get real and accept whatever help I can get and it’s okay to say I’m not okay!!!

I need to do a swap with God: give him my burdens for his Grace…Awesome, bring it oooonnn with an anti-depressant included 🙂

Yes me!! taking a happy pill….I’m feeling good already. I thought that I would never see this day but I am walking away from stoicism, so it’s a given that I have to do things differently.

If you are like me and are struggling to EVEN recognised that you are  depressed then ask your loved ones for their opinion. If they say yes then seek help!! Go to your local GP, check out what is available to you but get help!!!!…..Don’t worry I am preaching to myself!!!!!!!!

Here is a check list that may be of assistance. HAPPY HAPPY JOY