My Husband The Worshipper

I want to talk about my husband Jason who is the worship leader of our church, Grace Church Shellharbour City. I consider him to be a very unconventional leader who doesn’t fit the western-pentecostal- charismatic image at all. In fact, we as husband and wife lead unconventionally ; Jase leads from the front and I lead from the back.

How did this happen? Well you can read about the tale here.

I don’t really want to dwell on the past but describe what has come to pass and how proud of Jason I am. Over the five years that he has been worship leader he has wanted to quit so many times that I really  have lost count. He never chased this leadership role, yet has embraced it as the true worshipper  that he is (except for the countless times that he has wanted to quit). What I am trying to say is that he is not one to chase after power, just God!!

Why has God kept him there?

I’ll tell you why

He is one who the Father seeks for as Jesus said “Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshippers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshippers the Father seeks. 24 God is spirit, and his worshippers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” – John 4:23-24

He wakes every morning and worships God, he seeks others who want to worship God, he is faithful to God, family, church and he has allowed God to increase his vision so that we can record our own church album.

My husband is quiet, therefore quietly spoken and he is not business minded nor does he sprout out buzz words. He is who he is.

I love him

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Companionable

Here is a good opportunity to introduce my husband Jason who is from the  Deeper Cries Out blog. Not only is he my companion (and by the way, it was our 15th wedding anniversary on the 27th) but he and his guitar are companionable.

He writes songs, expresses his heart and releases the tunes.

It’s a Start

A couple of years back I had a happy little garden in my mum’s back yard and an awesome worm farm. Unfortunately discouragement set in when the neighbours dog tore up my garden and I failed to care for my beloved worms and they died…boo hoo 😦

I think that if I was attending a community garden as I am now I probably wouldn’t have let gardening go by the way side, but never fear; it’s never to late to start again.

Last week I attended the Big Back yard Festival at the Wollongong Botanic Garden where I got a little bit inspired by this idea

So armed with a free rocket plant that I received at the festival, my hubby and I came up with this

It is small, but its a start and in the process I really feel like I’ve stuck it to the marketing man by reusing things that were of no longer any use to us. As well as starting our very small garden at home, last Tuesday I decided to actually do some gardening for a change and harvest some food from the garden too.

This very small start feels like a big change and suddenly I no longer feel helpless about the rising cost of life. I have always desired simplicity and to do the things that matter. I don’t like this world system and getting back to gardening somehow makes me feel like I am taking responsibility and being a good steward of the earth.

I feel more rested and when God’s word tells us not to worry about tomorrow I am able to just receive it with peace in my heart. Matthew 6:25-34.

I was also excited because Jason came to the garden too, it’s become a real family thing and I love it

When grief and mourning accompany praise.

I want to talk about what it’s like to worship God when grief and mourning are present. A while ago  our church went through a mighty shake up that left us with a band consisting of two guitarist. It was at this point that I was enlisted as a worship leader and I did so for about two years  until it became a bit much for my son to attend band practice. About a month before I started worship leading my mum passed away and it was in those moments of worship that grief was present along side with God. Today My husband is worship leader and just recently he too lost a parent, his Father.

For the past couple of years of running the band my Hubby frequently say’s “I’m not cut out for this” or “I’m handing this over” and I find it amusing because it is God who has called us to worship and it is God who has indeed equips us for the call ahead. What I find further amusing is that we do not fit the image of this present day modern Western pento church ideal!! We are just us and we are not polished, we do not pretend to be perfect and we are raw.

How has God equipped us?  Well for a start we have been called to worship lead through grief and mourning, we have been equipped to be faithful and turn up every week and just do it, we have been equipped because for us it’s not about image and how good we look and sound. Worship for us is about connecting to God and as Jesus said in John 4:23 “Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.”

God does not care how wonderful you look or sound, sure become a better musician or singer and practice your craft with diligence but more importantly worship God from your heart even when circumstances are ganging up on you, just worship!! It intrigues me that both my hubby and I have been called to lead worship as we grieve for our loved ones who have since passed away. I believe that this is no accident as I am sure through this The Lord has given us keys to his kingdom.

I think now of when Paul and Silas were imprisoned and rather than sit in sorrow of their circumstances, they began to worship the Lord. The outcome was awesome, as there was a mighty earthquake that shook the foundation of the prison and the captives were released from their chains and prison doors flung open. This is a magnificent story of the power of praise regardless of ones circumstance. When we worship through our grief and mourning God is listening….people!!….God is listening

The strange case of the ringing phone!!

If you have been following my blog you would have read that I lost my iphone and a kind old lady found it and has since been returned to me. When I first realised it was missing I rang my husband sobbing and then he arranged for a block to be put on it and then changed our home number to my name on his iphone.

Today I decided to walk to coffee group and of course I had my iphone taking snaps of the world around me ready for Instagraming. When I got close to my destination I got a call from my husband and he was laughing hysterically. He kept saying “you wouldn’t believe what I just did?”

After much laughter from Jason’s end he finally told me what he did. When he was going to the toilet he decided to call me from his iphone (yes the toilet!!!) as he did this our home phone rang so he hung up and went to answer the phone, however it hung up. So he tried again and again our landline started ringing and again he had to get of the toilet to answer our phone and again it hung up.

After this happening a few times he was wondering who on earth is doing this to him and then he remembered that he’d put my name to our land line on his iphone!! Every time he was making a call to me it was going to our home phone!!!!! As he was explaining this kerfuffle to me  I too was then in a hysterical mess!!!

I tell ya this iphone saga just keeps on going!!!!

I lost my Iphone…and yes I cried!!!

Today I lost my Iphone and unbelievably when  I realised it was missing and not at Gloria Jeans where I last saw it, I burst into tears. If it was somebody else this had happened to I would have thought “that’s a bit of an extreme reaction”. However it was ME crying over a piece of plastic, metal or whatever it’s made of???

Why did I have this reaction? Perhaps it’s because of all the things I’ve got stored on my iphone? It carries so much information that is personal like my Facebook and Instagram among other things. It has, at the moment well over 1000 photo’s that are important to me. It also serves the practical purpose of my watch and an alarm clock.

When I called my husband (from my home land line phone) I was in serious tears. Can you really believe it??? Tears, I was sobbing!! Bless Jason he then said “come on lets pray right now” and it had a nice calming effect on me.

Afterwards as I was sitting on my lounge I was pondering about the call on my life, you know things like; what would God have me do now that I’m pulling back from worship leading, what are my true passions and what would I like to do with my future? You wouldn’t believe it, big chunky tears rolling down my face. You would think I’d had enough of crying for one day!!!!

Tonight I got a much reliving call from a nice old lady who had found my iphone. Phew!!! Glad that’s over!!

My Getaway!!

The thought of a getaway with just myself had never occurred to me before. I feel like I’m a happy and calm person in spite of the drama’s that rage about me like a frenzied storm. Recently My Husband and I were challenged to seek out time alone as life with a child who has a disability can be very stressful.

My Husband jumped at the chance and his time away really did have a calming effect on him. His first night away he rang us crying as he missed us but the next night he was fine. (I’ve probably just embarrassed him AGAIN!!)

Even though it wasn’t my turn yet I felt calmer as well. It was really quite easy to deal with my Son and it felt like there was less stress in the house. When Jason came home it was great and you could see how the time apart had greatly benefited everyone in the family.

So now it will be my turn next week and I am so excited about it. I’ve booked a cottage and I have no great plans except to just enjoy the time. I’m looking forward to uninterrupted sleep and the thought that I wont need to get anyone ready for bed and school and all those mummy things one has to do.

I feel a surge of excitement that I never expected to feel. I didn’t think that I needed it, truly I am a coper and I forget that really I must take that time out and recharge.

I reflect on the past six years of our lives and they are full of drama’s that we did not ask for. There has been job loss, bankruptcy, repossession of one car and accident with the other, our child needing surgery, our child being diagnosed with VCFS, my mum getting sick and needing oxygen twenty-four seven and then eventually she passed away.

Through all of these things I have kept my Faith in God and that’s probably why I haven’t had a full breakdown but don’t get me wrong I have had meltdowns and bawled my eyes out here and there.

I really think that this getaway is a gift that I must take, enjoy and come back refreshed and ready to go. I also see it as a vital part of our self-nurturing plan, in order to maintain the longevity required for being a carer of a child who has a disability.

Feeling free….. reclaiming my cafe journaling!!!!

I find it interesting that something could be bothering you in such a way that you don’t recognise it’s such a burden until it’s gone. At the beginning of term this year my cafe journaling was interrupted  by an unexpected situation that I would never have predicted ever!!!

I ended up having coffee with a guy that i’d met through one of my coffee  support group’s. He seemed okay at first until it went a bit weird and creepy. He gave me a look that suggested that we both had different reason’s for sharing a coffee and I did not like it. At that moment, I realised that I could not come here again at this time on this day because it was clear that he’d become a hanger-on that I couldn’t shake away. You know, like nits!!!!

To cut a creepy saga short this guy had been crack-en onto all the mum’s and all the girls who worked at the cafe. In one incidence  he called me when he knew my husband wasn’t home. My husband called him a stalker, Kim (my pastor) called him a fishermen like he was throwing out a line to all us girls and John the train driver (who occasionally joins us for coffee) called him a sleaze. These are all very strong statements coming from the men who had encountered him.

A couple of weeks ago I confronted this man. It was necessary in order to reclaim what I’d been enjoying doing ever since I sorted mum’s ashes out a year and a half ago. At first I was avoiding the time frame but  a friend convinced me of the wrongness of that because it was my thing to do. So then I was having my husband accompany me on those particular morning’s and typically, Mr Creepy man was a no-show.

The day I confronted him was the very day that my husband wasn’t with me. Wow what a coincidence !!…NOT!!! I told him that I wasn’t going to have coffee with him that day. I said that I would be happy to have coffee with the group or if my husband was with me but not if it was just him and me. I then told him that when he rang me that both my husband and I felt very uncomfortable because it was in the time frame when he knew my husband was not at home. I then said it made me question his intentions. He looked devastated like I broke up with him so I walked away and found a seat and reclaimed my cafe journaling!!

I’ve now had a few weeks of freedom and it’s incredible how this situation was weighing me down. Since the confrontation I’ve once again been able to say to people who if they want to join me I’m here on this day. I now freely have been writing out all my stuff that then effects how I blog. Incidentally  my blogging suffered as a result of this fiasco and I struggled to keep up with my weekly bogging challenge. I had been suffering from a bit of stress lately and it’s amazing how this time gives me the recharge I need to get up and cope with a child who has additional needs.

I’m not one who likes a confrontation but sometimes it’s necessary. You have to have good boundaries and then protect them or otherwise you can lose your freedom. I’m glad I’ve had this experience because it has only made me stronger and wiser.  As for Mr Creepy, he’s not my responsibility and he needs to face his own issues without me being a prop in his fantasy.

Blogging and Zumba

Ever since i’ve started Zumba and more recently blogging, my husband seems very fascinated by these two activities. I’ve shown him some of the zumba moves, he really likes it when I do that and then he gleefully calls me zumba girl. or says “love ya zumba moves”.

My new thing: blogging, seems to have really captured his attention “hey you should blog about this, you should blog about that”. I said to him that he should start a blog himself and blog about him telling me what to blog about. Any way perhaps he should join me at zumba one day or perhaps he should start blogging himself. Who knows??