Basking in the Sun

Today I basked in the sun.

It’s not as poetic as it sounds as I locked myself outside and had no choice. Even though the southern hemisphere is currently doing winter, it was such a splendid day and the sun shone with the warmth of spring.

The most remarkable thing about the title of this post is that since my mum passed away I have not been able to say basking in the sun without some heartache involved. The day my mum passed away I was basking in the sun.

It was a cold but sunny day and we were concerned about her all day. My husband went and picked up a sample that I then took to the doctors on mum’s behalf. My husband seemed worried that day so we kept calling her to make sure that she was fine. I was going to pop in the arvo to check on her and while I waited I sat outside to bask in the sun.

My house was freezing and the sunshine warmed me but my soul but anxious as I was worried that my mum’s time might be over soon. After some time I walked over to mum’s house and let myself in as I had a key. I found her asleep and I asked her if she wanted a glass of water as she looked a bit funny. I could not arouse her so it was time to call an ambulance and the reality of my mum’s mortality was realised.

To me, the passing of mum was not the most traumatic thing of the death but its aftermath. I had made my peace with her, God, death and myself. Two years prior to her death mum let me pray for her and in that moment I introduced her to Jesus. In the last two years of her life she had quality in spite of having a debilitating lung disease. The hub of my relationship with her was sweet, therefore her passing was okay with me.

What was traumatic was everyone else’s grief. I seriously could not cope with it and just wanted to run away. One day I was so distraught that I walked through our local shopping centre like a zombie, sat at the bus stop and considered getting on a bus and taking off. Where was I going to go? Anywhere, away, far far away!!!!

Today the pain has eased and I again can bask in the sun without the accusation of false guilt. I did not know that when I was basking in the sun that my mum was leaving us. Who could have known that was to be the day??

Good bye mum and while I wait till we meet again I shall bask in the sun guilt free. I shall be full of happy memories of the life that you lived and be ever thankful that God let me be your daughter. In the meantime I have a son who needs me to be happy and teach him the great things you taught me, therefore basking in the SON is a necessity!

Today

Today I took this picture of myself

Today I am happy

Today I feel relieved

Today I enjoyed life and look forward to dreaming about my future

Today I could hear the birds chirping

Today is my mum’s birthday and although I miss her I am not sad

Today I reflect on how good a mum she was and how much I learnt

Today I recognise that my mood affects my child’s mood

Today I decide to just be

Today I thank God that I am known

Today

Another Week of Painting

Last week I spent time painting at all of my community spaces. 

I was thinking before last week how I was craving to do some art. I’m so glad that craving was satisfied.

On Tuesday I got to fancy up some tires.

On Wednesday I got to paint at the servo with others

And on Sunday at church I got to do some Jackson Pollock style artworks with the teenagers

 

Memorable books part 3

Here is my third instalment of Tamar’s memorable books. Here are my first and second if you would like to read those too.

  • A visit from the good squad by Jennifer Egan. This was such an exciting and interesting read. I liked the way that each chapter jumps to a different character at different times in history. It reminded me of Tim Winton’s novel The turning. I liked how stories crossed over and characters met at different times. It had creative and different approaches to telling everyone’s story. It resonates strongly with me as I love to hear people’s stories and I love how in real life we know people and they come into our lives at different times.
  • The Shack  by William P. Young. Now here’s a book that I had to read because it seemed to pop up everywhere such as, a lady reading it in the waiting room at the doctors, heaps of people on Facebook and people in conversation talking about it!! When holidaying a couple of years ago I bought it and snapped it up overnight. It was Gripping!!!!!! It was challenging and wow, what an ending. It’s about a man who is grief-stricken by the disappearance of his daughter and one day he gets a mysterious invitation to the shack, near where his daughter was last seen.
  • Goodnight Mr Tom by Michelle Magorian. This was such a heart wrenching story and I am glad that I seeked it out. I first heard about it when I read a chapter in The School Magazine (remember that!!). I thought about that excerpt for a long time and eventually decided it was time to read the book. It’s a story set in the wartime when children in London were billeted out to the country for their safety. It’s a story abuse, love, kindness, trauma mental illness, grief and gratefully a happy ending.
  • House Rules by Jodi Picoult. So, I’m a bit over Jody Picoult. It happened after my 4th novel of her’s but when this was given to me I was glad as I was informed by another (I’m so over Jody Picoult reader) that this was a brilliant read. She worked with kids with special needs, my son included. I have to say that I enjoyed the book and in many ways found myself relating to it a lot . Jode’s has done a great job with this one.
  • Gone by Chris Nyst. When on our travels a number of years ago I bought a book in the second-hand book shop in Bairnsdale VIC and I stumbled upon this captivating novel. It’s a fiction that echo’s one of the most infamous missing children’s story in Australia’s history, The beaumont children disappearance.  It makes your mind think of so many things and just makes you wonder. Why are we so gripped by mystery? That question is just as intriguing to me as the mystery itself. Anyway this book was one that was a page turner and I reread at a later date. Oh, and unlike the true story at least this fiction has a resolution.
  • Justice denied : An Investigation into the Death of Jaidyn Leskie by Robin Bowles. I know, another crime story! I must confess, I like to read about true crime, especially Australian. I remember when Little Jaidyn Leskie went missing then some time later his body was found in a dam. I, like a lot of Aussies looked at the mother and judged her harshly. After reading this book I immediately ceased to judge her. She made a lot of unwise choices and she has paid big-time for them. I have no doubt that she loved her little boy and as a result of this tragedy she now makes better choices. This book just makes you question everything about the case and all you want, is justice for Jaidyn Leskie.
  • The outsiders by S E Hinton. I had to read this book at school and it really took me in. I felt like the characters were real people and the author made you empathise and cry. I just wonder if I read it today would it have the same impact? What really interested me at the time too, was that the author was only 16 when she began to write it. This inspired me to start writing my own fiction novel, however mine didn’t really go anywhere (just one chapter :))
  • Anna Karienin by Leo Tolstoy. Wow!! What an epic tale, and let me just continue by saying how proud of my effort for getting through it. It took me three weeks, ohmygoodness was it ever going to end??? I only decided to read it as it was featured on The book club (formally known as The first Tuesday book club). Everybody seemed quite excited about it and I felt left out by having not read it. So first opportunity to get a hold of it and I gave it ago. It was full of drama, humour, sadness and tragedy and I was gripped. There was one scene that I thought was so gorgeous and it was when Kitty and Levin write on a table with chalk to communicate how they feel about each other. It kind of reminded me of all those Youtube videos you see where the man proposes through a music production. I know, not exact but the cuteness is there in both scenarios and when I was reading it I got so excited for them both. This is a book that I highly recommend but please note, its epic and you might need a month.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Nostalgic

The red radio that is on the top shelf belonged to my paternal Grandma and the canister’s that are below were bought at a garage sale for $3 and they remind me of my maternal Grandmother (Granny).

Both of my Grandmothers have passed away and they have left some great memories behind. Both Grandma’s were creative and I’m sure they have passed their talents to us.

My paternal Grandma, Thelma, was an artist and writer. Just recently I saw one of her paintings still on the wall at the primary school in Minnamurra. Even more recently, one of my cousins told me that she used to make teepee’s (is that where I got it from?). My Grandma taught me how to knit and for my son, knitted that very last piece before she passed away. Grandma  pursued many different creative activities and seemed to really enjoy doing so.

My maternal Grandmother, Granny Rita, was hilarious and quick-witted. She was in the army at war-time and taught us many army ditties. She too was a bit of a writer and would write little poems in cards for birthdays. They were always funny ditties. Granny had bad arthritis but only complained when it was about to rain “Arthur’s  playing up, think it’s going to rain”. She was also an avid reader like myself and we kind of had our own little book club as we would talk about what we were reading.