I find it interesting that something could be bothering you in such a way that you don’t recognise it’s such a burden until it’s gone. At the beginning of term this year my cafe journaling was interrupted by an unexpected situation that I would never have predicted ever!!!
I ended up having coffee with a guy that i’d met through one of my coffee support group’s. He seemed okay at first until it went a bit weird and creepy. He gave me a look that suggested that we both had different reason’s for sharing a coffee and I did not like it. At that moment, I realised that I could not come here again at this time on this day because it was clear that he’d become a hanger-on that I couldn’t shake away. You know, like nits!!!!
To cut a creepy saga short this guy had been crack-en onto all the mum’s and all the girls who worked at the cafe. In one incidence he called me when he knew my husband wasn’t home. My husband called him a stalker, Kim (my pastor) called him a fishermen like he was throwing out a line to all us girls and John the train driver (who occasionally joins us for coffee) called him a sleaze. These are all very strong statements coming from the men who had encountered him.
A couple of weeks ago I confronted this man. It was necessary in order to reclaim what I’d been enjoying doing ever since I sorted mum’s ashes out a year and a half ago. At first I was avoiding the time frame but a friend convinced me of the wrongness of that because it was my thing to do. So then I was having my husband accompany me on those particular morning’s and typically, Mr Creepy man was a no-show.
The day I confronted him was the very day that my husband wasn’t with me. Wow what a coincidence !!…NOT!!! I told him that I wasn’t going to have coffee with him that day. I said that I would be happy to have coffee with the group or if my husband was with me but not if it was just him and me. I then told him that when he rang me that both my husband and I felt very uncomfortable because it was in the time frame when he knew my husband was not at home. I then said it made me question his intentions. He looked devastated like I broke up with him so I walked away and found a seat and reclaimed my cafe journaling!!
I’ve now had a few weeks of freedom and it’s incredible how this situation was weighing me down. Since the confrontation I’ve once again been able to say to people who if they want to join me I’m here on this day. I now freely have been writing out all my stuff that then effects how I blog. Incidentally my blogging suffered as a result of this fiasco and I struggled to keep up with my weekly bogging challenge. I had been suffering from a bit of stress lately and it’s amazing how this time gives me the recharge I need to get up and cope with a child who has additional needs.
I’m not one who likes a confrontation but sometimes it’s necessary. You have to have good boundaries and then protect them or otherwise you can lose your freedom. I’m glad I’ve had this experience because it has only made me stronger and wiser. As for Mr Creepy, he’s not my responsibility and he needs to face his own issues without me being a prop in his fantasy.