It’s Been A Great Holiday

Holidays are nearly over and for the first time ever I’m not jumping up with glee. Mind you, I am looking forward to back to school and having routine again.

So what’s the difference?

There has been a lack of the usual meltdowns and instead there has been interesting conversations, compliance and just general enjoyment. My little man has come a long way and is maturing into a lovely young man. My vision for him has been raised where it’s now time to stop underestimating him.

I can’t tell you how good that makes me feel.

These holidays became all about Star Wars

This visit to the river was unreal as I’d never seen my boy have so much fun swimming. He was ducking his head under water and trying to look for the city underwater.

This day was great, while Jason and I were getting immersed in mud Zach was off making his own connections with the community.

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Even on a day trip there was lovely behaviour from the back seat. There were a few “are we there yets” but no too bad.

OMG he even cracked a whip

This day we had a lovely cafe date. I was so relaxed and nothing was a big deal.

look at that smile

Again, another coffee date where there was conversation and lovely interactions.

With so many lovely moments this holiday I am not worn out and for that I am totally grateful. Something is different and I shall cherish it. I look forward to this year and I know within my guts my son is going to be okay.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Serenity

Awe the serenity

Serenity for me is found in many places

I know God through Jesus

and he gives me a place of rest.

serenity

Believe it or not being completely immersed in mud is serenity

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This river from my home town is serenity and I often have peaceful dreams of it

Being at the community garden and sitting under a tree is serenity

Without further commentary  let me show you more images that help me feel the serenity

A Shift In My Thinking

Just recently I have had a shift in my thinking when it comes to my son who is now 9; I think of him as a human being.

I know that might sound really strange, however bear with me and I shall explain.

When my Son was 18 months old he was diagnosed with VCFS and when he was about 5 he was diagnosed with having a moderate intellectual disability. When we were met with these diagnoses it was naturally heart breaking and yes of course I still saw him as a human being. It’s when you live through the reality that is presented before you it is only natural to be influenced by such things and for your mind to just cope with the situation.

Many decisions that we have made on his behalf have been influenced by his challenges and rightfully so. Many of the dreams that we had for him were either squashed or adjusted accordingly.

Fast forward to now and so many things have changed and we need to catch up.

Where did it start?

Back in June there was an opportunity for my son to be prayed for by Chris Gore.

Who’s he?

He’s some dude who has a healing ministry and he came to Shellharbour and invited all those with kids who have special needs to be prayed for. If this was a year earlier I would have said bugger off but somehow I was open so on the Saturday night an hour before the night session my son and a heap of other kids got some prayer. It was really special. The ministry team were polite and asked the kids permission to pray for them. It was a special time.

I did notice some little changes in him and have been rejoicing and thanking God for all the milestones. What having prayer meant for me, was my eyes for Zach’s future was immediately about hope  instead of  scary and uncertain.

So life went on and in the last term at school he started to struggle and was emotional everyday. It has been troubling and the teachers have been concerned for him as previously he was a happy child. Just prior to all this emotional stuff at school I had a dream that he was at a beach on a surf board. I witnessed him being pummelled by the waves and at first I freaked out but when I looked at him I could see that he was enjoying himself. I knew by this dream that he was going to be okay.

Last month we had a  Worship Mob at our church. During that time my son began to cry at a particular song (which is not unusual at all). I nearly did my normal “roll my internal eyes and get annoyed” however, I looked at him and instead of seeing him as a disabled child having a melt down I saw him as a human being touched by God through the music.

It was an epiphany!!!

I took him to the foyer and let him have a cry in my arms. I told him it’s okay to be sad and just let the tears out as he said that he didn’t want the sad feelings. After some time he asked me why his friends don’t like him any more and then there was another bout of sobbing.  After he had calmed down he then became really happy and I think it was due to him being validated and not told to calm down.

Ever since that moment there has been a shift in my thinking. It reminded me of those optical illusion pictures that has two images. For years I have been seeing the one image but now I see the other.

optical

Just recently we took him to a psychologist and I was greatly encouraged by her words. she encouraged us to get him retested, get him into drama and provide more challenges for him. This holiday he has been going to his usual out of school program and he has been hanging out with mainstream kids and has no emotional problems.

I am starting to see his future in a different light, my eyes are looking up and I think he’s going to be okay. It’s time to focus on the other image that is in the picture.