Good Grief, Bad Grief

So, what are the rules when it comes to grief?

You might say there are none but guess again; according to some self-righteous people there are.

There are some people who feel it’s their obligation to write letters via Facebook or on paper to the grieving on how selfish they’re being. There are some who feel it’s their right to discuss, bitch and gossip about how the grieving are being dishonorable to the deceased because their actions of grief don’t measure up to the expert’s standard.

How long should a person grieve for? Perhaps a lifetime?

It comes in waves, over time. sometimes there’s anger or just deep sadness. sometimes there’s feeling of rejection. I’m not in the loop anymore; but was I ever? Sometimes it hits you unexpectedly and then sometimes you see it coming.

It’s a new way of living. It’s brings hidden inner strength. It brings an eventual breakdown. It brings a new way to do life. More is lost when the person dies. Is it innocence? You gain a broken spirit.

You think you are healed then someone else dies or you notice something on Facebook that makes you aware of the distance grief has caused.

Grief’s a Bitch

 

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An Aimless Walk Around The Lake

Last week I enjoyed an aimless walk around the lake. It was exhilarating and all my happy endorphin’s were exploding in my head giving me joy.

For years I have been a walker of aimless and purposeless pursuit and I have never felt guilty about it. Those were the times when I’d spend time with God, thinking, processing, unwinding, debriefing and relaxing.

It has always played an important part of my well-being and  gives me a positive thing to do in slowing down in this fast paced world. When I think the pace of this world is maddening to extreme, I walk the human pace and meander through air partials and sun light or overcast. Natural sounds speak to me and my heart beat feels rested in the knowledge that everything is okay.

This frantic pace, this crazy world…..stuff you!!

I slow down and walk aimless; not everything needs to be organised and compartmentalized.

Pick your battles, choose what is important and organised your head to what is needed for your life, not others.

Not everything has to have purpose.

Inspired by this article 

A Fun Family Day

Yesterday our little family decided to take a train to the Gong and check out the Toy Brick Fair.

This adventure really had everything going for it and could be classified as a win win as our son loves a train ride, Lego and Starwars.

 

 

There was a designated spot to make your own creation……Zach didn’t make anything but guess who did?

It seemed like our young fella was getting over stimulated by the sounds, people and lots of Lego and over at the door way he saw a fern tree and decided  that’s where he wanted to be.

After our little city adventure we decided to go where there are loads of tree ferns, Macquarie Pass National Park.

I’m really loving Zach’s new plant obsession……taking him to that Community garden had really paid off.

In the world of Starwars (which I love) it is so nice to see my son have another interest that adds calm to your life. I think bush walking needs to be a priority in our lives and me must encourage this new keen interest.

2015 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 6,800 times in 2015. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 6 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

A Shift With My Journalling

I started to journal regularly at café’s shortly after my mum passed away and when I did I started with a cheap soft cover lined journal. When I had completed that one, I decided to spend a bit more money and honour what I was writing and found my first Pepper Pot journal.

It’s been five pretty and committed years of scribing my thoughts as I have sipped coffee in satisfying contentment.

I was getting to the end of my current journal and this is when  the hunt begins for a new Pepper Pot however, this year was difficult and none of the regular haunts stocked them any more, like none!! I searched for a good two months and even went searching while I was in Perth just recently.

NONE

This is when I really started to talk to God about my journal conundrum and my discussion with God has led me in a whole new journalling direction.

I bought myself a visual diary and lets just say that I’m glad I listened to God when he spoke “It’s a new day”

So armed with my new journal style I went to a cafe and came up with this

I really enjoy this new style and feel released and free. I have also noticed that something powerful is happening as I am doing this. It feels as though I have connected with God in a way that is beyond myself and that when I am drawing, I am praying.

I have also experienced some powerful unexpected moments like the time I met a lovely family from Saudi Arabia. The little boy drew a picture of me which I will treasure forever.

I have also noticed that by drawing it is helping me get my ideas for preaching or teaching and my brain is getting into some kind of order.

This is some of my notes for a sermon that I am working on

This is the start of my lesson plan for teaching about Permaculture

It’s like the flood gates have opened and I’m feeling refreshed at this shift in my journalling. It’s like paddling in a canoe with the current on my side and all of creation is cheering me on. It’s a joy, it’s powerful, It’s love.

 

My Getaway 2015

Another year and another getaway at the same place  This time I got to meet the owner and she is lovely. Going back to the same place feels like I’m building a relationship with the place, house, owner and myself. It’s a special thing and even though some things are the same, many things are different.

On my first day I went and sat on black beach again and did some nature art

And the really cool thing was that the next day when I went to the Kiama Farmers Markets, my art was still there

When I went back to the house I explored the backyard as I normally would do and I found a new addition to the place.

Chickens

Every time I come here the backyard becomes more magical with every stay

The next day was my big event: walking the coastal walk from Gerringong to Kiama 

I am crazy. I caught the train to Gerringong, had an egg and bacon roll from the bakery then rocked down to the Werri Lagoon. Who knew that Werri beach was soooo looooong. Anyway I made it and as soon as I was on the trail I felt immediate  peace.

What an amazing walk. My favourite part is the section between Werri Lagoon and Loves Bay where all you can see is blue sky, blue ocean, green hills and the occasional cow. It’s so dominate that it feeds your soul and does something to nourish it in a way you can’t imagine.

When I got to Loves Bay I was then walking along side civilisation and although it’s still spectacular it holds a different atmosphere. Finally I arrived at The Little Blow hole and to my absolute bitter disappointment the cafe that is close by was  closed……aaaarrrrrhhhhh

I had to regroup my thoughts because if you are familiar with Kiama you would know in order for me to get into town I would have to walk up and down a few hills. To regroup I sat on a bench under a tree that overlooks Kendalls beach and gave myself a talking to. “Listen here Tamar, just walk down that path that goes to Kendalls beach caravan park then take that short cut that leads to the other caravan park on top of the hill and then you will see Surf beach and there a coffee shall await you”…….Amen!

So that I did.

When I arrived at The Karari Bar on Surf Beach I was met with a lovely welcome from the owner. I told her that I had just walked from Gerringong and immediately she was offering me a seat and a class of water. Great hospitality and of course, coffee.

That afternoon when I got back to my accommodation I was wreaked but it was a good wreaked, it’s the wreaked that you never regret because you’ve achieved an amazing feat and fulfilled a long term goal.

This is me wreaked in the park

I slept well that night and woke the next morning and said goodbye to yet another getaway feeling refreshed, accomplished and ready to face the world.

Entitlement

Today I heard a statement that annoyed the crap out of me.

“This area needs a kick arse park where we can sip our latte’s…blah blah blah blah”

Why did it annoy me? Because it was the tune of an entitled, unsatisfied, ungrateful and unimaginative parent of today’s disconnection with what really matters in life.

Are you serious??

She would rather use up her petrol going out-of-town so that her precious mites can play on equipment while she gets to sip her latte while checking her social media on her phone….and yes, she complained that she has to use soooooo much petrol just to get to a kick arse park where the community can grow and be wonderful.

Oh dear, poor us with our below average parks that are right near our beaches and stunning trees but at least they are close to cafe’s where latte’s can be purchased. Oh dear, we are so under privileged with our third world parks that we are missing out on families being able to build community. Gosh, what ever are we to do????

Lets face it, the only way that community is going to be built is if the council get serious about building a kick arse park where latte’s are on tap. Oh and of course how dare the council waste money on art projects that have no worth when that money could have gone to the real needs of the community……on a kick arse park with readily available latte’s.

Oh and by the way, this is the unacceptable park that can never be kick arse in a world where people think that everything should be done for them.

As for me, this is more than kick arse……this is paradise.

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Heart’s Desires and 2014

I would have to say that 2014 was a year where many of my heart’s desires have come to realisation or, that I have done something that has been out of my comfort zone and normal routine.

The year started with us owning chickens. We have been chicken people now for a whole year. In that time we have enjoyed fresh eggs, we have watched broody chooks look after their babies and have felt the warm fuzzy feelings that one has when one owns chooks.

One of the major big things for me this year was when I went on a cruise. I was a cruise virgin before and now I have been converted and will say….”cruises are awesome”

I also got to celebrate my belated 40th and just renamed it my double 21st. Thank you all who came to celebrate with me as I now have some special memories of you all. It was also great how all the kids that came enjoyed themselves the most. To me this is how you know you have hosted a great party. As part of my hearts desire I got to deck the place out in Tamar style, which is something to get excited about.

One of the most crazy and out there things that I got to be a part of was a pantomime where we performed it in the community garden. It started of as a silly idea that grew into an experience that I will never forget. It fulfilled my need to perform, to execute an idea, to have a dream, to play dress ups, to gather people of all different talents, to see people discover their talent, to have fun, to see others have fun, to meet new people and to celebrate community.

Invitation to BHCG Pantomime

This year also fulfilled one of my long-awaited desire for Christians gathering from all different churches to worship God. This came about when my husband and I met Patrick on Facebook and from there Worship mob Shellharbour was birthed.

One of the most oddest desires that came to pass this year was the opportunity to be buried in mud. Oh yes…..it was ammmmmmazzzzing.

One of the most relaxing things that I have ever experienced. For more info check out Mud fun Australia 

And finally the last day of the year Jason and myself got to experience a zip line through the tree tops. It’s something that I have always wanted to do and now, if you live in the Illawarra area you can.

How many unreal things can happen in just one year? and this is only a glimpse of what my heart has seen. I look forward to 2015 and I can see that I will have to put more desires within my heart as I am sure there are more fun things to experience in life.

Happy New Year everyone!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

2014 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 4,100 times in 2014. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 3 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.