A Word in Season

Yesterday my stat’s went a little crazy as I decided to share this post that I wrote about two years ago. When I wrote it, I was in a very fragile place and had enough of people telling me how my child’s antics were just normal child behaviour.

Since penning my thoughts way back when, I haven’t really experienced this frustration for some time. Is it because people don’t say it to me as frequently, as the older he gets one can clearly see that his behaviour is nothing like a child his age? Is it because these days I’m a lot more calm about my situation? Who knows, I think the antidepressants are working….Oh, and seeing a psychologist too was pretty unreal…and I haven’t yelled at a man it public for a year now and the eF word has seemed to have made and exit from my general thoughts…..hi fives all round friends!!

Yesterday I was reminded of this topic as I was part of a discussion board with other’s who are effected by VCFS. (I can’t share the link as its private). On the thread there were a number of people who kept on insisting that the vcfs antics of one of the children who was posted about was normal behaviour for all children. 

I didn’t feel the rage of yester year, however frustration was mounting when the mum who wrote the original post clearly articulated her knowledge of the  differences between what a typical child does to one who has special needs and then seemed to go unheard.

This made me realise that my frustrations from a few years back, are being felt strongly today by many of those who are in my situation. As a result I decided to share my post called “But all children do that…..do they really???” and the response has been an awakening experience.

For those out there who could relate to the words I had expressed, it is a word in season just for you. It is my gift as one who goes through stuff and writes about them. Not all things get heard straight away but when the season is right the ears will be there to hear.

So to you my fellow VCFS peeps (and others who could relate to the post), keep being awesome and wonderful and thank you for receiving my written words. Lets not be put off by those who don’t seem to have the ears to hear about our lives. I hope your days are full of understanding and strategies to keep you sane.

All the best my lovelies 🙂


Frustrating book search!!!

Frustration, frustration!!!

I am trying to search for a book that I read years ago in which I had  thoroughly enjoyed but forgot who wrote it and what it was titled!! I have been on the search for a number of years now with no suitable outcome. I asked the library about it, I have search author and book lists and I have Googled so many times. Next I’ll be asking random strangers on the street if they could help me with my book search!!!

It is an Australian novel that is narrated by a husband and wife. The wife believes that she has killed her neighbour so she buries her in the back yard and plants a flower garden. The guilt of this over time sends her crazy. The point of view from the husband is, he sees that his wife is very fond of her garden but is alarmed as she becomes increasingly disturbed over time.

There is also a nice little twist at the end!!

Anyway, does this story ring a bell? If so please let me know and I will be thankful for your knowledge!!!

The Messy Mum

I remember being told earlier this year that I was “The Messy Mum”. Here I was facilitating the craft for the children at playgroup and as I looked up to my surprise I saw about six mum’s  looking at me  and  telling me “Tamar your messy, we like being tidy, you’re the messy mum” For a moment I was stunned and the replied “well you need me in your life, because life is messy”.

It was quite a revealing moment as it said to me that I hadn’t communicated effectively that true creativity and art making was about being messy. you can’t possibly learn or enjoy yourself if staying tidy is your priority. So it prompted me to try to see how I could educate better those who know nothing of The Art’s  to become wiser of this topic that I feel so passionate about.

I decided that being frustrated or angry would do me no good. You can’t justify staying frustrated against people due to their lack of knowledge. It’s not fair to have that expectation on them as I have been the artist for 30 odd years and has been my vocation for about 20. I’ve studied art it’s my expertise and I understand that a lot of the public really have not dedicated much of their time to being creative.

The first step for me was to put my hand up as a volunteer for playgroup nsw. I told them of my skills and passion for children to experience true creativity. As a result of that first phone call I now regularly visit other playgroups and do a craft activity. It gives me the opportunity to present myself as the expert and then very gently explain the importance of what  I’m doing. This for me is fulfilling as I feel like I’m making a bit of a difference.

Another action that I’ve taken, is to begin writing article’s about this topic. It’s been such a great release  and I’m finding that my frustration has ceased. I would so dearly love for more of society to engage in some artistic adventure as it has so many benefits to our health and well-being.

So for now I shall be honored to wear the “Messy Mum” label, because at least it means I’m out there getting messy, letting mess happen and promoting mess from children. At the end of the day I feel like I’ve accomplished something special with the kids!!!!