The unexpected morning adventure!!!

This morning turned out quite different from how I planned, but all is good as I was then able to take a 25 minute stroll to my regular My Time outing while capturing heaps of images ready to be Instagramed.

It’s Book Week today at my son’s school and normally parents and family go along to join the fun. This is where it’s always a good thing to read the school news letter carefully, as I turned up today and there were no other parents present……. awkward!! So I asked at the office and was enlightened that because education week was not too far away a mufti day with a theme was sufficient.

Oh dear and today I was without a car so I caught a bus to the school (my son gets a special bus to school). I then had two choices, to catch the bus back home or walk to My time and hopefully scab a lift from one of the other mum’s who attend the group.

I believe that I made the best choice of walking to my destination as it was very relaxing and indeed my friend was there and she dropped me off at my local shopping centre.

Below is a few of the photos that I took along the way.

My Getaway!!

The thought of a getaway with just myself had never occurred to me before. I feel like I’m a happy and calm person in spite of the drama’s that rage about me like a frenzied storm. Recently My Husband and I were challenged to seek out time alone as life with a child who has a disability can be very stressful.

My Husband jumped at the chance and his time away really did have a calming effect on him. His first night away he rang us crying as he missed us but the next night he was fine. (I’ve probably just embarrassed him AGAIN!!)

Even though it wasn’t my turn yet I felt calmer as well. It was really quite easy to deal with my Son and it felt like there was less stress in the house. When Jason came home it was great and you could see how the time apart had greatly benefited everyone in the family.

So now it will be my turn next week and I am so excited about it. I’ve booked a cottage and I have no great plans except to just enjoy the time. I’m looking forward to uninterrupted sleep and the thought that I wont need to get anyone ready for bed and school and all those mummy things one has to do.

I feel a surge of excitement that I never expected to feel. I didn’t think that I needed it, truly I am a coper and I forget that really I must take that time out and recharge.

I reflect on the past six years of our lives and they are full of drama’s that we did not ask for. There has been job loss, bankruptcy, repossession of one car and accident with the other, our child needing surgery, our child being diagnosed with VCFS, my mum getting sick and needing oxygen twenty-four seven and then eventually she passed away.

Through all of these things I have kept my Faith in God and that’s probably why I haven’t had a full breakdown but don’t get me wrong I have had meltdowns and bawled my eyes out here and there.

I really think that this getaway is a gift that I must take, enjoy and come back refreshed and ready to go. I also see it as a vital part of our self-nurturing plan, in order to maintain the longevity required for being a carer of a child who has a disability.

The value of a person – my response to bullying!!

When I hear, view or read a story about bullying and then the response of the bully is “the media has blown this out of proportion” it just makes me mad. What do you call a teenager who has committed suicide as a result of relentless bullying? what do you call the grief of a mum who has lost a daughter to the effects of bullying? The media have not blown this story out of proportion.

I can’t help but be angry when I hear this for what does that say to the victim and their parents? Or I get perplex and feel frustrated when I see those in authority take a nonchalant view of the situation.  Do you know what it says to the victim? I will speak now for the victim.

It says that “I am not valued as a person that I have been chosen to take the brunt of nastiness and if I tell someone it’s pointless because nothing will change. I am alone in this world and no one is on my side, not even those who have the power to change this situation. I need to stick up for myself or leave the cruelty of this world. But when I do stick up for myself I will be the one who will get into trouble. Where is hope?”

Now I will speak for the victims parents “My child is worth nothing and I am devastated. Everyone just thinks I’m neurotic and  no one seems to be taking me seriously. When the bully then cries victim I am highly insulted and can not believe my ears. Where is the hope?

Bully’s have to know that there are consequence’s to their aggressive behavior!!! If you are a bully and you get caught then please suck it up!!! Your pain is no way as great as the mum (featured in the above article) who grieves everyday from the loss of her daughter.

The compassion which I feel for the bully is that I am sorry nobody had called them into accountability earlier. There is nothing worse than going around in life thinking that being nasty and aggressive is okay and acceptable. When there is a lack of accountability then there is no justice and when there is no justice then evil is allowed to prevail.

I know that I’m coming across strong but how many more  suicides have to happen before there is a shift in the thinking and attitude towards  bullying?

Two more sleeps!!!

My son is starting school come Monday and it’s only two more sleeps!! Where did the time go? Five years have gone swiftly yet not unnoticed as It’s been full of drama’s and joys. I know he’s ready to go because he’s been like a cooped up puppy this last week of holidays. I’m confident he’ll be fine, he’s going into an IO class of only five children. He will get the nurturing he needs and because the school has a wonderful integration program he will be challenged as well.

The real issue here is, will I be ready and am I prepared enough? I’m having anxiety just thinking of his lunch box!!! will he have enough food and do I wrap his sandwich in glad wrap?? Have I got the right shoes and I’ve just realized that I’ve purchased nothing to fill his pencil-case!!!!

How did Mum handle my first day of school?  I was determined that I was not going to school and back then they didn’t have “transition to school” days. When mum and everyone was wanting to take photo’s of me I  looked to the ground in a defiant sulk. The only reason I gave up and compromised (as if I was really in charge) was mum told me they do painting at school. So I had my first school day and it was spent the whole day pestering the teacher asking her “when are we going to paint?”

When mum came to pick me up the first thing I said to her was “you said I was going to paint and I didn’t!!!” I was crying when the words were coming out. I guess you can call me a true and passionate artist right from the beginning. I can’t imagine my littlin crying over a lack of paint, in fact I’m not sure he will cry at all. My hope for him is that he has fun and makes nice friends. I’ll just go and have a nice coffee and enjoy the space.

My hearts desire

  • A north facing window, preferably the lounge room. I really love that winter sun in winter. I know that’s obvious.
  • three bedrooms with built-in wardrobes
  • back yard to fit the trampoline
  • an outdoor sitting area
  • a garage
  • plenty of storage
  • a place to paint and other activities
  • a decent kitchen with space, space, space
  • a hills hoist, I really love a hills hoist.
  • close to the school

Cafe journaling

Today I did my cafe journaling and these are my tools. Very simple and not much to it really.

I am often amazed at the people I meet while I’m out journaling. Today it was the lovely Nikky, we took photo’s of ourselves as I have now entered the iphone family.

Today I did something slightly different as I took a book to read with me as well. I think I’m starting to feel at home and it was lovely to just sit there and read. I’m thinking that when it’s time to go back to school, one of my  strategies will be to study at a busy cafe at a busy shopping center.  I’v noticed my concentration abilities  appear to thrive in this environment. This has been an encouraging day.

Letting go of the dream and embracing a new one!!

It was my dream for my son who has VCFS to attend the school that my husband I went to. It’s the closest nearby school and has many memories that are sentimental and powerful. When my son was born that’s the school that I’d thought he’d attend, no deviation from the plan. However, as time has swiftly moved and circumstances have taken me by surprise I’ve had to rethink the dream.

At the beginning of the year I can say that the thought of Zachy going to school would send me in a moment of worry and concern toppled with much anxiety.  His toilet training and his functioning age was very much behind peer’s his own age. There was also tears of just feeling overwhelmed by the whole school thing.

Sometime mid year I was encouraged to visit schools that had an IO unit as my Son had recently been diagnosed with having a moderate intellectual disability. I visited three in total and was impressed with them all. I then began to change my mind about holding him back a year as these schools have a wonderful program and attitude towards children like my son. The fact that my Son is still in nappy’s, dribbles madly gets distracted and lost  is a non issue. I feel that my son will be nurtured and yet challenged, accepted and taught with excellence and encouragement to bring out his abilities.

The thought of school now excites me and I realise there is a whole different world other than my fixed dream to embrace. It’s what you make it and this VCFS journey before me is full of adventure and quite often the unknown.  I do put my trust in Jesus and know that whatever happens I will be okay. We all have dreams but sometimes the dreams need a little adjustment.