A Shift With My Journalling

I started to journal regularly at café’s shortly after my mum passed away and when I did I started with a cheap soft cover lined journal. When I had completed that one, I decided to spend a bit more money and honour what I was writing and found my first Pepper Pot journal.

It’s been five pretty and committed years of scribing my thoughts as I have sipped coffee in satisfying contentment.

I was getting to the end of my current journal and this is when  the hunt begins for a new Pepper Pot however, this year was difficult and none of the regular haunts stocked them any more, like none!! I searched for a good two months and even went searching while I was in Perth just recently.


This is when I really started to talk to God about my journal conundrum and my discussion with God has led me in a whole new journalling direction.

I bought myself a visual diary and lets just say that I’m glad I listened to God when he spoke “It’s a new day”

So armed with my new journal style I went to a cafe and came up with this

I really enjoy this new style and feel released and free. I have also noticed that something powerful is happening as I am doing this. It feels as though I have connected with God in a way that is beyond myself and that when I am drawing, I am praying.

I have also experienced some powerful unexpected moments like the time I met a lovely family from Saudi Arabia. The little boy drew a picture of me which I will treasure forever.

I have also noticed that by drawing it is helping me get my ideas for preaching or teaching and my brain is getting into some kind of order.

This is some of my notes for a sermon that I am working on

This is the start of my lesson plan for teaching about Permaculture

It’s like the flood gates have opened and I’m feeling refreshed at this shift in my journalling. It’s like paddling in a canoe with the current on my side and all of creation is cheering me on. It’s a joy, it’s powerful, It’s love.


My Getaway 2015

Another year and another getaway at the same place  This time I got to meet the owner and she is lovely. Going back to the same place feels like I’m building a relationship with the place, house, owner and myself. It’s a special thing and even though some things are the same, many things are different.

On my first day I went and sat on black beach again and did some nature art

And the really cool thing was that the next day when I went to the Kiama Farmers Markets, my art was still there

When I went back to the house I explored the backyard as I normally would do and I found a new addition to the place.


Every time I come here the backyard becomes more magical with every stay

The next day was my big event: walking the coastal walk from Gerringong to Kiama 

I am crazy. I caught the train to Gerringong, had an egg and bacon roll from the bakery then rocked down to the Werri Lagoon. Who knew that Werri beach was soooo looooong. Anyway I made it and as soon as I was on the trail I felt immediate  peace.

What an amazing walk. My favourite part is the section between Werri Lagoon and Loves Bay where all you can see is blue sky, blue ocean, green hills and the occasional cow. It’s so dominate that it feeds your soul and does something to nourish it in a way you can’t imagine.

When I got to Loves Bay I was then walking along side civilisation and although it’s still spectacular it holds a different atmosphere. Finally I arrived at The Little Blow hole and to my absolute bitter disappointment the cafe that is close by was  closed……aaaarrrrrhhhhh

I had to regroup my thoughts because if you are familiar with Kiama you would know in order for me to get into town I would have to walk up and down a few hills. To regroup I sat on a bench under a tree that overlooks Kendalls beach and gave myself a talking to. “Listen here Tamar, just walk down that path that goes to Kendalls beach caravan park then take that short cut that leads to the other caravan park on top of the hill and then you will see Surf beach and there a coffee shall await you”…….Amen!

So that I did.

When I arrived at The Karari Bar on Surf Beach I was met with a lovely welcome from the owner. I told her that I had just walked from Gerringong and immediately she was offering me a seat and a class of water. Great hospitality and of course, coffee.

That afternoon when I got back to my accommodation I was wreaked but it was a good wreaked, it’s the wreaked that you never regret because you’ve achieved an amazing feat and fulfilled a long term goal.

This is me wreaked in the park

I slept well that night and woke the next morning and said goodbye to yet another getaway feeling refreshed, accomplished and ready to face the world.

It’s Been A Great Holiday

Holidays are nearly over and for the first time ever I’m not jumping up with glee. Mind you, I am looking forward to back to school and having routine again.

So what’s the difference?

There has been a lack of the usual meltdowns and instead there has been interesting conversations, compliance and just general enjoyment. My little man has come a long way and is maturing into a lovely young man. My vision for him has been raised where it’s now time to stop underestimating him.

I can’t tell you how good that makes me feel.

These holidays became all about Star Wars

This visit to the river was unreal as I’d never seen my boy have so much fun swimming. He was ducking his head under water and trying to look for the city underwater.

This day was great, while Jason and I were getting immersed in mud Zach was off making his own connections with the community.


Even on a day trip there was lovely behaviour from the back seat. There were a few “are we there yets” but no too bad.

OMG he even cracked a whip

This day we had a lovely cafe date. I was so relaxed and nothing was a big deal.

look at that smile

Again, another coffee date where there was conversation and lovely interactions.

With so many lovely moments this holiday I am not worn out and for that I am totally grateful. Something is different and I shall cherish it. I look forward to this year and I know within my guts my son is going to be okay.

Train Date

Today I took my little man for a train date and it was a lovely and enjoyable experience. Every holidays he asks about going on the train so this holiday I put it in my diary to make sure it happened.

I decided that Thirroul would be a nice place to venture.

When we arrived we walked to the beach and my son played at this super-duper park

And to my surprise, Thirroul has an Olympic sized salt water pool…..and what a lovely looking pool it is indeed.

Thirroul beach also has moments where one can practice their parkour if one so chooses to do so.

We then went for a walk to Austinmer beach, with some more parkour along the way.

The Austie beach rock pools were rocking today and I was impressed with the committed swimmers that I witnessed today bobbing about out there.

I love how the dressing room building reflected the ocean. It was all harmonious and music to my eyes.

After our walking excursion to Austinmer we headed back to Thirroul for some refreshments before the trip home. We entered one cafe and asked if they served ham sandwiches. No they didn’t, but they served toast. I was thinking, You could just serve the bread pre-toasted? I took a moment to ponder this question and thought, I don’t think that they deserve my intelligence nor money so we went somewhere else.

Yeah for people who serve sandwiches. Tin Shed Cafe

The food and service were great and I’ll be going back there again for sure. We had lunch, used the elevators at the station (a new obsession) and enjoyed the train ride back home. A lovely successful day if you ask me.


Weekly Photo Challenge: Escape

I think going for a lovely drive in the country with my bestie is a pretty good escape.

First we went to Fitzroy Falls and brrrrrrr

Oh!! nice view!!

And after our very hasty view of the falls we decided that lunch should be on the agenda very quickly.

So off we continued to Kangaroo Valley and called into the Jing Jo Cafe & Restaurant and it was an escape!!

This place was delightful

The food, the place, the location and the company

Giving and Receiving.

I’m starting to have a fresh revelation about generosity and what it is to be a giver.

I remember a while back when I didn’t have a car due do unexpected circumstances that I began to believe God for a miracle. A part of the manifestation of that miracle was for me to start being a person who gave money away. Inevitably I received a car from a very lovely lady indeed.

Today I have a deeper revelation about what generosity is and it’s changing my life.

For the past year we have been in a situation that our finances haven’t been enough to cover our expenses and we have been vulnerable and put in a situation of helplessness. In this time I have learnt to be a receiver and have been receiving gladly. I’m not talking about being an ungratefully selfish taker but a receiver with a thankful heart.

Most of my life I have seen myself as one who is like a camel in the desert just wondering from one water hole to the next but that is not God’s plan for me!!! I am to walk in the abundance and the abundance has been showering down on me like I’ve never before experienced in my life.

Today as I went to pay for my chi latte and egg and bacon roll it had been paid for…… AGAIN!!!! This has been happening to me for the past month!!! The shower of blessing has been coming my way and I am ever grateful every time that it happens. But guess what??? I tried to do the same to at least three people today and they refused.

What is wrong with you people????? Don’t you realise that this shower of blessing that is on my life is amazing???

This is when I suddenly realised that as a person who has been receiving at lot lately that I had to overcome much shame. I’ve had to realise The love of God and there is nothing that I can do that will make God love me any more then he does right now. I had to put aside my pride and just accept that I am a person who has needs. I also now can see that my giving has changed.

When I give now I am giving from the experience that has come upon me and I just want to share indiscriminately and joyfully. I feel that my giving is because I have been given to and I don’t have any bragging rights with that.

Anyway, I haven’t had time to really mull this thought over but I know that I’m on to something…….just learn to receive as I believe that it will make you a much more compassionate giver…amen.

Where have I Been???

It feels like I haven’t written a post for ages and it’s true, I haven’t!!

So where am I and what’s been going on???? To be honest nothing too exciting except for my two-day getaway where I chose to revisit the same destination as last year.

It was so lovely when I arrived at the cottage to be greeted with this lovely note

There is no better feeling then being welcomed and walking in the place felt like I’d entered a big hug!!

This is the view from the cottage

It has this lovely garden in the back yard

To me I find this place inspiring and very helpful towards my good mental health. It’s been a stressful couple of years full of grief and loss and gaining solitude in a small cottage by the sea is so restorative. I visited cafes. I went for long walks. I took many photo’s on my iphone. I was just responsible for myself. I am grateful.

One thing that I have noticed since I have come home is how inspired I feel. Inspired again to write, inspired to draw and inspired to paint. I’m sure this is what it is meant when people say Be kind to your self!!!

A glass of ice with lemonade!!

Who knew that a glass of ice with lemonade could be so entertaining??

We took a big risk today taking our son out for lunch in a crowded cafe/restaurant. It’s always a tad stressful and we have avoided doing it for some time.

As we were waiting for a table he nearly started to have a melt down but was able to calm down when we were directed to a table…… phew crisis diverted!! We ordered lemonade for him and when it came it was the best calming thing I have ever seen 🙂

He was busy stirring the lemonade, putting the ice in his mouth and later blowing bubbles!! These are all sensory things that had an obvious calming effect on him…I can’t wait to tell the OT, she’ll be stoked!!!!!

So the risk paid off and we had a lovely family time at a crowded restaurant……..nice 🙂

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Such a Lovely Day

I don’t usually post two blogs on the one day but this afternoon was so lovely I thought that I would take the opportunity to indulge. I went for a walk with my son and on the way as he was pretending to be lightning McQueen   “ka-chow” he started to come out with rhyming words and being rather clever.

As we were sitting on the jetty he suddenly became reflective and had many deep questions to ask such as “is she alone?” Referring to a lady sitting at the other end of the jetty. He then kept asking “Is she lonely, why is she alone, is she sad??? So many questions!! He then leaned on me and said “Is the lake talking? I then asked him what he could hear and he replied “brrmmmmmmmm”. It was a distant boat!!! It really was just so unusual as we never have these types of conversations.

On the way home we decided to call into a local cafe that is on the lake. It has cosy lounges and there is always music playing every time we go there.

My son had to make a commentary on every song that was played….awesome!!!!!!

No…… he is not asleep but he was totally relaxed that he didn’t want to leave!!!

This turned out to be such a lovely day considering the stress I’ve been feeling lately. Thought I’d write a quick post to recognise it!!!