Hey Brother

I’m soooo loving this song right now. I can’t stop playing it and I’m driving both my husband and son crazy (mummy, that’s giving me a headache)

Besides being a really catchy tune I think that it’s a special song. Firstly this song was playing when I went on the cruise with my coffee group. How awesome it felt going under the harbour bridge with everyone in the party mood with this song playing.

 

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Secondly, I’m finding that the lyrics have a special meaning to me

Hey brother! There’s an endless road to rediscover
Hey sister! Know the water’s sweet but blood is thicker
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you
There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do

Hey brother! Do you still believe in one another?
Hey sister! Do you still believe in love? I wonder
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you
There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do

What if I’m far from home?
Oh brother, I will hear you call!
What if I lose it all?
Oh sister, I will help you hang on!
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you
There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do

Hey brother! There’s an endless road to rediscover
Hey sister! Do you still believe in love? I wonder
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you
There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do

What if I’m far from home?
Oh brother, I will hear you call!
What if I lose it all?
Oh sister, I will help you hang on!
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you
There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do

After much jiggy jigging when listening to this song I have really come to appreciate it with more depth as I finally listened to the words. It makes me think of the special people who surround me and who add value to my life. Family and friends who lift me up and make this journey a more joyful place.

I thank God for all of my groups that have filled in so much of the grief where my mum is missing. Thank you friends, you know who you are. Apologies if I haven’t included a picture of you, I have tried to represent you all xxx

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Unrequited Love

I know that the title of this post refers to romantic love but I want to ask the question; have you ever been in a friendship where you liked them more than they liked you?

When I was seventeen I met my friend who, like me was doing art, had just recently became a christian and had an equally unusual name as myself. We had a sweet bond and together we felt like we were going to conquer the world. We would pray together and for our friends, we would sing together, we loved each other.

After a couple of years my friend changed as she wasn’t able to cope with things in her life and returned to her life of drugs. This is when I first experienced outright rejection from a friend and as we were bonded through Christ the pain seemed more damaging. Although the heart ached, it was a lesson for me in love and forgiveness.

After some years she returned to the Lord, went to another church and our friendship was rekindled, yet it was never the same but at least she would talk to me. I really don’t think she realised the pain that she caused me and I don’t think she could see the wound of a broken connection that I strongly felt within my heart.

I did have an opportunity to express how it did break my heart when she “back slid” as is the christian term for one who walks away from the Lord. I explained how perhaps I had put her on a pedestal and I couldn’t cope with the disappointment of our broken friendship. I was pleased at how that conversation mended something in me….or so I thought.

Over the years I felt as though I was the one always chasing her, although I didn’t admit it to myself until a few years back. One day I phoned her to see if I could call in for a visit as I was going to be in her neighbourhood. She told me to drop in on the following Monday in which I had, however, when I had arrived she wasn’t there. When I rang her mobile she gave me some lame excuse about not being able to contact me.

I drove home furious and fed up. The reality was starting to wash over me at last.

Six months after that moment I had an opportunity to go and chat to her, however as it was my first birthday without my mum I felt fragile and said to myself “Just this once, I am not going out of my way to talk to her. She can just F#^k off, my mum is dead!” And therefore I did accordingly, I ignored her.

You know, ignoring her made me feel good for that moment but it didn’t make me feel free. Thankfully about six months later, I had another opportunity to connect with her. I approached her with a hug and asked her to forgive the contempt that I had for her. I told her how I was tired of her rejection and said “Over the years I think that I may have like you more than you liked me”.

She told me that I was brave and I told her that I am no longer angry with her. For me it was like letting her out of my angry cage where she can fly wherever she liked. I had redefined what our friendship was and decided that I no longer shall feel rejection or inferior, I shall indeed just love her for who she is and keep on moving with my own life.

A number of years later I had got word that she was separated from her husband. Although this had saddened me deeply, it came no surprise  to me. I later heard that her life was a mess, while her husband is now blooming for the first time ever.

When all of this was revealed to me I couldn’t believe how many years that I had wasted mulling over unrequited love. How could I be so self absorbent about this rejection when she was hurting the most important people in her life, her family.

What is the lesson here?

Her rejection of me was never about me!!!!

As a human being it is normal to personalise rejection and make it about oneself, however when you know in your heart that you have done nothing to provoke rejection then move on.

When I am now confronted by a persons inability to communicate well, then it’s not my fault. When someone shows contempt for me, it’s not my problem. If someone is embarrassed by me, then they need to have a rethink about what’s important to them. If a person has a problem with me then the problem is theirs!

This is a great life lesson to learn and I shall not waste another minute worrying about the lost time. It did indeed take me a long time to figure this one out but better late than never.

Simplicity

Being a part of a community garden is a great way to experience life. Most weeks while we are there, someone cooks a feed and we are able to enjoy sunshine, food and company.

Last Tuesday was no different, yet I felt very reflective of the day and of what happens when we meet there. I love the simplicity of  how food is harvested and nothing is wasted. I love how the fresh food is cooked, shared and friendships are either developed or maintained. I love how nothing is rushed and just being yourself is encouraged.

Is life meant to be like this somehow? What do we need in life? For a while now God has been showing me about his love using the illustration of a garden. I am learning about provision, friendship/family, sustainability and seeking the Fathers heart.

I do not want to chase worldly ways but heavenly ways. Perhaps my mind is on Heavenly thoughts but the garden keeps me grounded yet connected with God

So what did we eat? Sweet potato, parsnips, potato’s, kale, spinach and other greens. I also like this style of cooking as there is no recipe but use what is available coupled with creativity.

Oh such simplicity!!!!

Weekly Photo Challenge: Culture

I love this picture of my son and his friend. They both live in the same country, yet come from a different culture. They don’t seem to notice the cultural differences they just want to have fun in each others company.

My son has noticed that his skin is a different colour and he wants to be just like his friend. “Mummy I want to be aboriginal”.  There are just some things that I can’t arrange, sorry kiddo!!!

Why Don’t You Love Yourself?

A letter to an old friend.

Why don’t you love yourself like the rest of the world does? Why do you need to hide behind that steely look when we love your heart so much. We have seen your heart just like God has made it and it is beautiful. When you revealed your sweetness to us it was like perfume that is unique to you. No one else had that sweetness, just you.

It breaks our heart when you fall down and can’t get up. Its okay, we all have struggles. Let those who love you help you. It’s okay to be weak, it’s okay to admit defeat. You are not alone. However, it’s not okay to deceive us any more and look out with those steely eyes. It’s not okay to pretend that all is well when its plain obvious that you’re not.

When you are wearing that mask we can tell that something is wrong. We can’t quite put our finger on what is wrong but there’s an inkling of some sort. Too many years I have felt the rejection in your eyes and I understand that our friendship will never be like it was in our younger days. That’s okay because forgiveness takes away the pain and I do not take it personally as I know your inability to continue with friendships is a part of what you suffer.

You suffer this way because you don’t believe what God has said about you. He said you are beautiful and full of light and you have been blessed with an adorable personality. Do you not see this? How could you not see this?

I hope you find freedom and get to release that unique perfume that is your’s alone. How we miss it when you retreat to your dungeon. Come back, come back, please.

Now that all of your props have been removed you have skidded flat into the mud where you were but this is still not the end. There is still hope for you and I hope that you understand that. Please don’t give up as those who truly love you haven’t either, they are just not holding the props any more. The weight was too much for their soul to bare.

Forgive me when I put you on a pedestal as that was unfair to you. Forgive me when my expectation of what our friendship was different to yours. I grieve the person you were when we were friends so long ago and I realise that we have all moved on from that place. Today is new and we are all grown up and our friendship has changed over the years to this.

I remember telling you once that I thought over the years that I liked you better than you liked me and that was hard to admit but it’s just how I felt. Today I would say that I love you and I long for you to gain happiness just like I am experiencing right now. I would say that its time to get real and honest with yourself. Its time to take off the mask and reveal your vulnerability. I would say once again don’t let hope evaporate as there is always hope.

There are many who believe in you and are on your side, and the biggest person on your side is the man with holes in his feet and hands. That hand is always reaching out to you, grab a hold of it even in your weakest moment. Just grab it. Of course you know this but as I write this letter to you dear friend I want you to know that the love of God has not run out.

Get well old friend

All of us who adore you

Platforms for Community Connection

I have been attending my local community garden now for under a year and I have only just realised what a wonderful platform it is for people to make community connections with each other.

My son has been quite proactive in adding people to his family by calling particular people Nan and Pop. This is quite remarkable to me as it made me realise just how important a community garden is for society.

We can’t do life alone, we are not meant to be islands just like this Simon Garfunkel song (which by the way I love)

Don’t get me wrong, I love having times of solitude where I get to  enjoy my own company and recuperate from the stresses of life but I know that having a community of people around me is vital for me to blossom as a human.

I’ve been talking the community garden up now for nearly a year and just recently I have had people keen in wanting to come along. I think that people want to come along not because they are gardeners but because they want to make a connection with others.

I believe that spaces like community gardens, Men’s Sheds and other such ideas are necessary platforms that build community and need to be cherished and made available.

I feel at times our society has walked away from community connections as the houses get bigger and backyards get smaller, as fear stops us from letting kids go to the park alone, as it has become the age of litigation and as a result there is a collective stick up everyone’s bum!!!!!

It’s time to change.

What do we really need as opposed to what we think we need?

I serve a God who loves people and commands that we love our neighbour. I feel the challenge and I want to take it up. The culture needs to change because too many people are alone and feel helpless. The driving force for Jesus dying on the cross was so that humans can have a relationship with God.

We are relational beings.

We need each other!!!!!

My Son has a friend

It’s very exciting for me to witness my Son connecting with one of his peer’s.  They have so much fun together and at times go a bit crazy. Initially  I had the concern that because he was mimicking his non verbal friend, would that set him back with his development but now I think that’s bollocks!!!

Why do I think that? Well for a start he has made a connection with another humane being and that is massive in it self. He is learning how to sign language as his  friend is non verbal. He is learning how to make eye contact and how to hold hands. All these important skills were never picked up at the usual time of development.

He looks out for his friend and gets so excited when they are reunited. They have their own private jokes and language that is exclusive to them. Now think about your best friend, how many goofy times and in jokes do you have with each other? I think all these interactions are healthy for filling in what was missed early on in the piece.

I don’t see it as a backward step as his speech has improved greatly and his conversation skill has come along way. His school work is going well and he knows his phonic’s beautifully. He is moving forward with confidence and I’m so happy for him. I think that when you have a friend you feel like you can conquer the world and learning can become easier.

Sure, there are times when the teacher needs to separate them because they get a bit distracted with each other but that’s an easy solution. I’m glad he has a friend and I just want to celebrate it!!!!