My Husband The Worshipper

I want to talk about my husband Jason who is the worship leader of our church, Grace Church Shellharbour City. I consider him to be a very unconventional leader who doesn’t fit the western-pentecostal- charismatic image at all. In fact, we as husband and wife lead unconventionally ; Jase leads from the front and I lead from the back.

How did this happen? Well you can read about the tale here.

I don’t really want to dwell on the past but describe what has come to pass and how proud of Jason I am. Over the five years that he has been worship leader he has wanted to quit so many times that I really  have lost count. He never chased this leadership role, yet has embraced it as the true worshipper  that he is (except for the countless times that he has wanted to quit). What I am trying to say is that he is not one to chase after power, just God!!

Why has God kept him there?

I’ll tell you why

He is one who the Father seeks for as Jesus said “Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshippers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshippers the Father seeks. 24 God is spirit, and his worshippers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” – John 4:23-24

He wakes every morning and worships God, he seeks others who want to worship God, he is faithful to God, family, church and he has allowed God to increase his vision so that we can record our own church album.

My husband is quiet, therefore quietly spoken and he is not business minded nor does he sprout out buzz words. He is who he is.

I love him





My Heavenly Experience in an Earthly Gallery

A couple of days ago I popped into The City Gallery. Once there, I entered the main gallery space where there was four organs playing a continuous cord as a result of unmovable steel bars pressing on various notes. After some time viewing the art, I thought to myself “This could become quiet irritating after a while” . 

After examining one side of the exhibition (which is a round room) where my left ear was receiving the noise, I turned and faced the last wall.(my right ear then received the sound) The wall was filled with works on paper that were abstract paintings made up of blue, green and purple colours. It was at this point that the continuous note went from irritating too majestic.

I could not stop gazing at the works of art and being captured by such a splendid sound. I was having a moment that was heavenly and I began to sing. (no body else was present in the room, thank goodness. I may have looked like a nut-case otherwise lol). I sang and worshipped God and felt incredibly inspired. The moment was big and I felt surrounded by the peace of God. I really was stunned that I was having this experience,  but I can tell you that I needed it!!!

I walked away thinking “Wow, I think I just had a heavenly moment in an earthly gallery…that was unexpected!!”

Unexpected but welcome!!!!!

The living water

As a result of being zapped by God….yes zapped…..Jason (who is Deeper Cries Out) and I have commenced worship sessions at our church on a Monday mornings. After the third week we are experiencing  more freedom, we are writing songs and developing and atmosphere of Worship. Yesterday as  Jason was playing his guitar,  we went into spontaneous worship and these images and words came to me. I hope they lift your spirit?

The living water the never runs dry

life-giving, fresh and alive

The water was trickling over the rocks

and sparkling. If sound could sparkle

then it became a bubbling creek, strong, forceful,

clean, fresh  joyful and on the move

then there was like the roar of the ocean

powerful roaring like a lion, unstoppable

And then the crashing waters spilling out with great

unrelenting force

uncontainable power, dynamic

and awesome with majesty.


I have been a Christian for about 22 years and I describe it as an  extraordinary journey to live.  When I met Jesus I was sitting around a camp fire at a Christian camp and was struck with the reality of  how I didn’t have a story about when Jesus came into my life. This saddened me. I wanted a story too!!! I also recognised how I was a pretend Christian   and in an act of spontaneity I stood up in front of every one and declared that I was indeed a pretend Christian.

In was in that moment that my life changed where I saw the mask smash to the ground destroyed.  I sat down to everyone’s applause as I finished my spontaneous speech with “now I know Jesus, my life will be fantastic”!! As I sat there thinking of what had transpired my heart cried out to God “please help me to be a disciple of Jesus”!!!

The camp fire that night has long burnt out but the fire of God burns within me for eternity!! Sure, life happens and things don’t run smoothly!! I know, you should hear about the many traumatic events that occurred in my life for past the six years!!

Just recently another event occurred that had us saying goodbye to My husband’s beloved Dad just before Christmas.As you can imagine this is a tough thing to face but in spite of it, we both have in the past week experienced the most refreshing time of the supernatural love of God.

Part of it has to do with listening to music from Bethel Church and Jesus Culture. My friend sent us Be lifted high and we have immersed ourselves into the music and have been inspired to worship. It has stirred my husband, it has refreshed us, it has made us frustrated, it has made us want more, it has created desire to want to know the Father more, we want to see freedom come as it is in
Heaven the same on Earth!!!!!

When I first heard the song featured below it felt like I was drinking fresh water and didn’t realise how thirsty I was. It seems like church worship has gone so professional that there is now no more room for creativity and heart. Please, this is not an attack on current treads within musical church practices just a challenge for us all to want more!! To realise that God does not fit in our little human minded boxes and we can’t just say to our selves “this will do!! we’ve made it now!!” No!! There is always more!!!

Do we really have to do three songs?? do we really have to play a song the same way?? Why can’t the musician prophecy with their instruments?? Do we really want to be like the mega church’s??? or how about we just be, us?? How about we get  know how much our Father in heaven loves us more than anything that he sent his Jesus to die for us? How about we take up our birth right? So, how about it??

I feel ignited and refreshed. I feel like the floodgates have opened and I feel alive. I’ve woken up from a tired dream. I feel challenged and I want more!!!!!!

When grief and mourning accompany praise.

I want to talk about what it’s like to worship God when grief and mourning are present. A while ago  our church went through a mighty shake up that left us with a band consisting of two guitarist. It was at this point that I was enlisted as a worship leader and I did so for about two years  until it became a bit much for my son to attend band practice. About a month before I started worship leading my mum passed away and it was in those moments of worship that grief was present along side with God. Today My husband is worship leader and just recently he too lost a parent, his Father.

For the past couple of years of running the band my Hubby frequently say’s “I’m not cut out for this” or “I’m handing this over” and I find it amusing because it is God who has called us to worship and it is God who has indeed equips us for the call ahead. What I find further amusing is that we do not fit the image of this present day modern Western pento church ideal!! We are just us and we are not polished, we do not pretend to be perfect and we are raw.

How has God equipped us?  Well for a start we have been called to worship lead through grief and mourning, we have been equipped to be faithful and turn up every week and just do it, we have been equipped because for us it’s not about image and how good we look and sound. Worship for us is about connecting to God and as Jesus said in John 4:23 “Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.”

God does not care how wonderful you look or sound, sure become a better musician or singer and practice your craft with diligence but more importantly worship God from your heart even when circumstances are ganging up on you, just worship!! It intrigues me that both my hubby and I have been called to lead worship as we grieve for our loved ones who have since passed away. I believe that this is no accident as I am sure through this The Lord has given us keys to his kingdom.

I think now of when Paul and Silas were imprisoned and rather than sit in sorrow of their circumstances, they began to worship the Lord. The outcome was awesome, as there was a mighty earthquake that shook the foundation of the prison and the captives were released from their chains and prison doors flung open. This is a magnificent story of the power of praise regardless of ones circumstance. When we worship through our grief and mourning God is listening….people!!….God is listening

I feel like a bit of a Steven Bradbury……how I became a worship leader!!!

The best way to describe my role as a worship leader is think of that marvelous moment when Steven Bradbury won a gold medal at the Winter Olympic’s in 2002.

I hadn’t been a part of the band for some years as I’d had a child and life got busy blah blah blah blah, you know!!! Anyway nearly two years ago our church had an almighty shake up that left only two band member’s remaining. One of them happened to be my husband and the other, a young bloke who is a part of our church. During the first week where there was only two band member’s Maggie, the pastor’s wife called out to me “Tamar Tamar please come quick help me” So before you knew it I was a worship leader.

It was such an extraordinary time as our church went from having the full band with three backup singer’s and plenty of musicians to just an acoustic guitar and a singer. In spite of that nothing was missing, as our worship became raw and centered on Christ. You could hear the people singing and it felt like the worship that God was after and had been missing for a long while.

I don’t write these things with contempt for the past or the former leader’s as I know God loves them and they are precious to him. Nor can I be boastful about all this because it’s not my strength but Gods, as at the time of this shake up my Mum had passed away.

The scripture that came to me through this time was Matthew 11:29 . This word from God was very important to me as it gave me the strength to carry out the call and to press on regardless. This worship leading with all my challenges was like taking on the yoke of Jesus. His yoke is easy and his burden is light and he gives my soul the rest its needs while doing what I am called to do.

By the way just a little diversion, for many years when I heard “yoke” in the bible I thought it meant “egg yolk”. So when Jesus said “Take my Yoke upon you” I didn’t quite get the message!! So glad that I’ve since been advised that “yoke” is the object placed on a pair of oxen so they can work as  a team.

So therefore becoming a worship leader was not about how great I am, but it was the about the teamwork that exists between The Lord and I. On reflection of these past two years I am grateful for the opportunity to be a worship leader and I am constantly reminded to remain humble and not to get a cocky attitude.

It’s too hot to blog

I really want to post a blog for my blog weekly challenge but it’s just so hot!!! It’s 11:50pm and it’s still about  28 deg!!! I have a few drafts ready and waiting for me to finish but I can’t concentrate, it just too hot. So instead of working on what I really want to say I’m just going worbigch (I just made that word up) and just say what ever comes to mind.

I had a wonderful time at home group tonight as I always enjoy the company of my Christian friends. I also feel like i’m having a revival of some kind. I became a Christian about 22 years ago and I haven’t lost the passion of knowing Jesus. Yes I’m a self-confessed nut case and proud of it. I worship a bloke who lived 2000 years ago, performed miracles, preached love and stuff and broke up a whole lot of bread for a whole lot of people.

He proclaimed he was the Son of God and had the power to not only deliver people from demons but forgive sin as well. He upset the religious establishment and allowed himself to be brutalised and killed for the love of all mankind. So yep, I’m a nut case and glad to be so!!!!!

Oh yeah, I also believe he conquered death and is alive today!!!!

I’m going to treat myself tomorrow

I’ve decided to give my self an extra cafe journaling session tomorrow. Usually Wednesday’s I drop the little man off to early intervention and then cruise on home to do home stuff. but today I feel a little bit fragile and I think I need a bit of cafe journaling to make me feel a little cozy, comfy and all warm on the inside. I don’t feel massively sad or downcast just feeling perhaps slightly stretched. By stretched I mean I’ve taken on responsibility’s recently that I would never thought I could ever have accomplished in the past. There are more things on my schedule and I’m finding myself a student to new things more frequently.

So what are these things?

I’ve been a worship leader now for over a year and it’s funny to think years ago people said I couldn’t sing in tune. Or trust me when I say this, but I don’t fit the worship leader mold!!! In Gods eyes I’m just what he’s after because I worship in spirit and truth. I’m not blowing my own trumpet I’m simply agreeing with what Jesus Christ said.

I’ve also put my hand up for leadership roles in the community and involving my self on committees. Funny how I’ve always thought meeting’s were such a pretentious activity. Sometimes they are pretentious if you have too many too soon and talk a lot a BS. However meetings at the appropriate times are very beneficial and admittedly quite necessary.

I’m also a volunteer for Playgroup NSW. My thing is to visit different playgroups and do a craft activity with the kids. I find this highly rewarding as I am passionate about art and sharing it with the community. Oops!! that bit sounded like a cover letter for a job. Speaking of Job seeking, I was also on an interview panel with a service that helps my Son. Once again, this is funny because the only job interview I was ever successful at was for a pizza hut delivery driver job.

So all these things are new to me and I’ve been thrown out of my comfort zone.  I think I’m doing well and I’m enjoying myself. However,  I’ve decided that I  need to treat myself with a comforting activity. So tomorrow I will be armed with my vintage tools and I shall journal and sit amongst the people. I shall soak up the atmosphere and enjoy my caramel cappuccino, yes I have caramel for I am no coffee purist. And that my friends is a whole other blog.