Weekly Photo Challenge: Let There Be Light

I find this photo challenge quite apt considering my last post which was only yesterday.

I’ve chosen the images below as I tend to like taking photo’s using natural light. This is my homage to the sun.

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Then I was Walking in Daylight

I’ve always been a person who remembers their dreams and this morning was no exception, however, this morning I dreamt something that felt so significant I wanted to write a post about it.

I was walking on a path at night-time and then suddenly I stepped into daylight. It was the most magnificent and amazing feeling as I had never experienced anything like this before. I turned around in wonder to view such a phenomenon and saw black and grey clouds hovering over where I had walked out from and near the entrance there were about seven palm trees standing strong and tall.

I was so fascinated by this that I got out my iphone and began to take snaps. I was almost tempted to walk back into the night to take some pictures, however thought it was a waste of time and decided not to. I noticed a house being built on the cusp of the day and night and attempted to catch a picture of the workers as some had a shadow on them, while others didn’t.

I then continued on the path and saw that the new country was green, beautiful, peaceful and amazing. It was ready for me to explore.

I woke up feeling awesome!

All day I have walked around saying to myself that I’m walking in daylight.

A Christian Cliche

Okay Christian people, what gives? I’ve been a Christian for 24 years and there are some things that just annoy me about the culture. One of the things that I’d like to discuss right now, is the silly notion of “we can’t let people sit in the same spot every week”

What the heck? Really? Who cares where people sit?

It is that old thing of “we can’t get religious” and of course the evidence of one being religious is when one chooses to sit in the same seat every week at church, home-group or whatever. To those who think this; you are missing the point and by making a big deal out of shuffling someone from their seat, you are just showing the world how petty we Christians are.

Tell me, what would Cheers be without Norm and Cliff or what would The Muppet Show be without these two hecklers ?? Come on, it’s called being human and that’s okay.(Yes, I know the Muppets aren’t human but they capture human essence).  I have been a public transport person for many years and guess what? When commuting regularly one tends to sit in their habitual spot and that’s okay.  As a result of this environment I have met many lovely people and there is something special when everyone has their spot. Yes, it’s safe and comfortable and tell me, what’s wrong with that????.

When engaging in community spaces people tend to sit in their “spot” for very specific reasons. I would sit every week in church at the same spot because it’s the easiest way to deal with my son. Just recently I was bumped out of my spot but I didn’t mind because it’s no big deal and I also understood the reason; it’s the easiest way for this young mum  to deal with her daughter.

Listen my brothers and sisters in Christ, can we talk about the things that matter rather than trying to move people around like a chess game? Know this, I am not a chess piece and I will not play along. Why am I ranting for? Because I am sick of this Christian cliché, I’m sick of going along with it, I’m sick of everyone having a false guilt for being human and I am challenging this thought process as I think it’s a tired and religious way of being.

Now let us all engage in a big cyber hug.

Sail on Silver Girl

A few years ago this song held a special place in my heart and every time I would listen to it I would burst into tears.

I’ve always been fond of this song, however I had never taken particular notice of the last verse.

“Sail on Silver Girl, 
Sail on by 
Your time has come to shine 
All your dreams are on their way 

See how they shine 
If you need a friend 
I’m sailing right behind 
Like a bridge over troubled water 
I will ease your mind 
Like a bridge over troubled water 
I will ease your mind”

When I realised what the lyrics were I would burst into tears as it was symbolic to what was happening in my life at that time. God was speaking to me and showing me that, it indeed is my turn to shine and all my dreams are on their way.

Well today I have been listening to it again and bursting into tears, however, this time I am crying for a friend. I have had the privilege to see this friend come into freedom.

There is nothing more heart warming then to see a person who is destined for great things finally realise their worth and act accordingly. I can’t wait to see the great things that come from this, as my friend sails by toward their dreams and shines like the stars. To be a witness of this just overwhelm’s my heart.

Unrequited Love

I know that the title of this post refers to romantic love but I want to ask the question; have you ever been in a friendship where you liked them more than they liked you?

When I was seventeen I met my friend who, like me was doing art, had just recently became a christian and had an equally unusual name as myself. We had a sweet bond and together we felt like we were going to conquer the world. We would pray together and for our friends, we would sing together, we loved each other.

After a couple of years my friend changed as she wasn’t able to cope with things in her life and returned to her life of drugs. This is when I first experienced outright rejection from a friend and as we were bonded through Christ the pain seemed more damaging. Although the heart ached, it was a lesson for me in love and forgiveness.

After some years she returned to the Lord, went to another church and our friendship was rekindled, yet it was never the same but at least she would talk to me. I really don’t think she realised the pain that she caused me and I don’t think she could see the wound of a broken connection that I strongly felt within my heart.

I did have an opportunity to express how it did break my heart when she “back slid” as is the christian term for one who walks away from the Lord. I explained how perhaps I had put her on a pedestal and I couldn’t cope with the disappointment of our broken friendship. I was pleased at how that conversation mended something in me….or so I thought.

Over the years I felt as though I was the one always chasing her, although I didn’t admit it to myself until a few years back. One day I phoned her to see if I could call in for a visit as I was going to be in her neighbourhood. She told me to drop in on the following Monday in which I had, however, when I had arrived she wasn’t there. When I rang her mobile she gave me some lame excuse about not being able to contact me.

I drove home furious and fed up. The reality was starting to wash over me at last.

Six months after that moment I had an opportunity to go and chat to her, however as it was my first birthday without my mum I felt fragile and said to myself “Just this once, I am not going out of my way to talk to her. She can just F#^k off, my mum is dead!” And therefore I did accordingly, I ignored her.

You know, ignoring her made me feel good for that moment but it didn’t make me feel free. Thankfully about six months later, I had another opportunity to connect with her. I approached her with a hug and asked her to forgive the contempt that I had for her. I told her how I was tired of her rejection and said “Over the years I think that I may have like you more than you liked me”.

She told me that I was brave and I told her that I am no longer angry with her. For me it was like letting her out of my angry cage where she can fly wherever she liked. I had redefined what our friendship was and decided that I no longer shall feel rejection or inferior, I shall indeed just love her for who she is and keep on moving with my own life.

A number of years later I had got word that she was separated from her husband. Although this had saddened me deeply, it came no surprise  to me. I later heard that her life was a mess, while her husband is now blooming for the first time ever.

When all of this was revealed to me I couldn’t believe how many years that I had wasted mulling over unrequited love. How could I be so self absorbent about this rejection when she was hurting the most important people in her life, her family.

What is the lesson here?

Her rejection of me was never about me!!!!

As a human being it is normal to personalise rejection and make it about oneself, however when you know in your heart that you have done nothing to provoke rejection then move on.

When I am now confronted by a persons inability to communicate well, then it’s not my fault. When someone shows contempt for me, it’s not my problem. If someone is embarrassed by me, then they need to have a rethink about what’s important to them. If a person has a problem with me then the problem is theirs!

This is a great life lesson to learn and I shall not waste another minute worrying about the lost time. It did indeed take me a long time to figure this one out but better late than never.

What a Day

Today I decided to take the morning easy, as for the past three days were a bit strenuous and I needed a bit of a rest. I watered my garden, did some reading and cooked a gourmet breakfast courtesy of the Community Garden.

However my happy feelings turned to anxiety in the lead up to my job search network appointment. Then it was tears…boo hooo.

Feelings of being overwhelmed just flooded over me, or dumped on me. I cried because my son needs his eyes checked, he needs another sleep study, I can’t get formal respite, he needs to go the cleft palate clinic, he has a limited diet, he’s not disabled enough for me to get carers payment, blah blah blah blah.

When I went in for my appointment I burst into tears. The young lady was very good and encouraged me to get a Doctors certificate and sent me up the Centerlink to chat with the case coordination peeps! By then I was feeling good again as I was able to obtain more contacts that could possibly help me.

I then went and had coffee and the girl at Gloria Jeans asked me how my day was and I explained my day to her. There was a new chap working there and he just happened to work for a disability service provider and willingly gave me yet another contact for me. I then went to the bank and the lady told me that if I opened a savings account, the bank will donate $10 to start it off.

Lets just say the day got better and better and I’m feeling the hope again. It’s like God was saying “It’s all going to be okay”.