How Was I Doing It All?

For some time now, I have shed a lot of activities from my life and as a result I seem to be in a more happy and calm place.

Last year I was struggling to keep up with my study work load and as a result had failed five assignments and a subject. When I decided not to continue my studies a burden was lifted off me and even my son told me the next day “mummy, I’m happy”.

I look back at all the things I was doing and wonder How was I doing it all?

I don’t think I realised how demanding it is to bring up a child who has a disability and I underestimated the emotional toll that it takes. I’m not resentful of this because my son is one of the biggest joys to our lives, however I just have come to recognise what it takes to get through this marathon with your sanity intact.

I’m not allowing myself to be put under any unnecessary pressure and as a result life is just so much better.

I don’t care much for ambitious thoughts right now as what do I have to prove? I have nothing to prove to myself or to anyone, I just am. I am me. I am loved and I have been created by God for good purposes. What is my purpose? Right now it’s to nurture my family and take care of my emotional life.

I think that’s a good start 🙂

My ambition, is to be a disciple of Jesus and that’s not to difficult as hanging out with Jesus is very rewarding. My joy, is just smiling at the world and being grateful for my life. My sanity, in tact!!!

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