A letter to an old friend.
Why don’t you love yourself like the rest of the world does? Why do you need to hide behind that steely look when we love your heart so much. We have seen your heart just like God has made it and it is beautiful. When you revealed your sweetness to us it was like perfume that is unique to you. No one else had that sweetness, just you.
It breaks our heart when you fall down and can’t get up. Its okay, we all have struggles. Let those who love you help you. It’s okay to be weak, it’s okay to admit defeat. You are not alone. However, it’s not okay to deceive us any more and look out with those steely eyes. It’s not okay to pretend that all is well when its plain obvious that you’re not.
When you are wearing that mask we can tell that something is wrong. We can’t quite put our finger on what is wrong but there’s an inkling of some sort. Too many years I have felt the rejection in your eyes and I understand that our friendship will never be like it was in our younger days. That’s okay because forgiveness takes away the pain and I do not take it personally as I know your inability to continue with friendships is a part of what you suffer.
You suffer this way because you don’t believe what God has said about you. He said you are beautiful and full of light and you have been blessed with an adorable personality. Do you not see this? How could you not see this?
I hope you find freedom and get to release that unique perfume that is your’s alone. How we miss it when you retreat to your dungeon. Come back, come back, please.
Now that all of your props have been removed you have skidded flat into the mud where you were but this is still not the end. There is still hope for you and I hope that you understand that. Please don’t give up as those who truly love you haven’t either, they are just not holding the props any more. The weight was too much for their soul to bare.
Forgive me when I put you on a pedestal as that was unfair to you. Forgive me when my expectation of what our friendship was different to yours. I grieve the person you were when we were friends so long ago and I realise that we have all moved on from that place. Today is new and we are all grown up and our friendship has changed over the years to this.
I remember telling you once that I thought over the years that I liked you better than you liked me and that was hard to admit but it’s just how I felt. Today I would say that I love you and I long for you to gain happiness just like I am experiencing right now. I would say that its time to get real and honest with yourself. Its time to take off the mask and reveal your vulnerability. I would say once again don’t let hope evaporate as there is always hope.
There are many who believe in you and are on your side, and the biggest person on your side is the man with holes in his feet and hands. That hand is always reaching out to you, grab a hold of it even in your weakest moment. Just grab it. Of course you know this but as I write this letter to you dear friend I want you to know that the love of God has not run out.
Get well old friend
All of us who adore you