When I was a kid there were always repeated words of wisdom that came from the grown ups such as Granny, Pop, Mum, Dad etc etc etc………………not so sure that any pearls of wisdom were imparted but a humorous side to life was!!!
Here is just a few of the classics, I wonder if you are familiar with any of the following or have you got ones to share with me??
- Hear about the wooden horse? It wooden eat so it wooden poop and then it died
- When asking for the whereabouts of an object : “is my face red?” ” no” “well it’s not up my bum!!!”
- “What time did you get up?” “Sparra fartin!!” (sparrow farting…..when one gets up at the crack of dawn)
- Two wrongs don’t make a right
- It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt
- Awww that makes my bum itch (when witnessing a cringe worthy moment, not unlike a Hallmark one)
- “He started it” “Well I’ll finished it!!”
- “Pull my finger” when you pulled Pop’s finger it was his cue to fart…it was like magic!
- It’s gunna rain Arthur’s playing up (My Granny had really bad arthritis and whenever it was about to rain she could feel it in her arthritic body)
- Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty your bum’s dirty
- Mare’s eats oats does eats oats and little lambs eat ivy (something Dad would sing enthusiastically)
- Ask your mother for sixpence to see the pink giraffe with pimples on his whiskers and pimples on his…… ask your mother for sixpence to see the pink giraffe with pimples on his whiskers and pimples on his….. ask your mother for sixpence to see the pink giraffe with pimples on his whiskers and pimples on his…………………………………………………………..
- Want to see London? (Pop would then proceed to pick us up by the ears….not sure you’re allowed to that these days?????)
- Mr Martin fell down farting, he got up winking and ran away stinking
- Hasten Jason fetch the basin…..plop….. too late pop fetch the mop!!
Okay, that’s it and I’m sure once I click publish more sayings from my childhood will invade my brain!!!! Thank you for coming with me down memory lane 🙂