Off loading my crap to the girl at Gloria Jeans!!!!

This Christmas holiday break has not felt like a break at all!!! I, in my greatness of wisdom decided to do a study period consisting of two subjects smack bang in the middle of a BLOODY HOLIDAY!!!! Seriously who studies at this time of year???? Not only have I been stressed out to my eyeballs studying, sadly my Father-in-law passed away just before Christmas. I tell you now, it’s very hard to concentrate when you are faced with all of this going on.

I want to be strong, I want to excel like some freaky Wonder women (does she even exist??) I want to be a mum to my son and a wife to my husband who just lost his dad and I want to be happy and have my sanity to remain intact. But let me inform you all, I’m losing  it, I’m not strong at the moment and I’ll never be a freaky wonder women and my Son and husband deserve a mum and wife who’s sanity is in tact.

Today I went for coffee but I ordered a chi latte instead (gosh they’re nice) and before you know it I’m offloading all my crap to the girl who works at Gloria Jeans. I was explaining how next study period I will drop a subject so that I can recover my sanity. She said “no way! get it all over and done with as soon as you can” I said “NO!! noooooo waaaaay” I then commenced to give her a monologue of Tamar philosophy of why one must not try to get things over and done with.

I was on a roll I expressed with passion that “it’s not worth it, what’s  the point of getting there quickly when you haven’t enjoyed the journey. getting a degree doesn’t define who I am. For goodness sake I’m 39 and it took me this long to finally begin to study. what’s the rush??? I value my happiness. What kind of mum can I be to my child who has a disability if I’m stressed out bawling my eyes out every day??? It’s the tortoise that got there first!! Slow and steady wins the race. Being healthy isn’t just physical but mental too. This society puts too much pressure for people to rush. Everyone’s rushing and not taking the time to just enjoy their life. I am not that person, I need holidays, I need my heart to be restful, I need to go a slower pace, I need to enjoy the journey and that’s what I intend to do”

So!!! that’s me, just offloading my crap to the girl at Gloria Jeans!!!!!

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4 responses to “Off loading my crap to the girl at Gloria Jeans!!!!

  1. Tamara I’m so sorry to hear about your father in law. I do understand your frustrations about study and yes you’re right in your observations that wonder woman doesn’t exist yet somehow we continually strive to achieve this unachievable status don’t we? I too have struggled with the Festive period and study and all the bits in between – having had quite a serious wobble. I wish you well, and do you know what, it’s good to offload, even if it is the girl at Gloria Jeans!

    Here’s my post about my wobble – it generated quite interesting and helpful tips from other bloggers who also cope with the struggle of study, family etc.

    http://maturestudenthanginginthere.wordpress.com/2012/01/09/an-the-challenge/

    Good luck to you. Keep us posted on how you’re getting on 😉

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