When it’s my turn

Today I went to a funeral of a lady who I’ve known for about 20 years. Even though she wasn’t regularly in my life I have never forgotten the impact that she made during the time I’ve known her. It was a sudden death and a huge shock and reminded me that no body knows when it’s time to take our last breath. Even though my mum was ill and had been for a while, her death was as equally a shock and hard to deal with.

All of this has made me think of my own departure and how I want it to be conducted. When it’s my turn I want to make it easy as possible for my loved ones left behind. I’m not meaning to be morbid but I see it as being responsible and thoughtful in a time of grief.

I think the first thing to do is have a will, which I finally sorted out just before Christmas. Having that in place is a legal document and it’s the assurance that the beneficiary’s will indeed benefit when I die. I think my next step is to write a letter to my Son. I want him to know that I love him and that his well-being is on the top of my priority list.  He needs to know that I treasure him more than my things and he can get rid of anything he wants to when the time comes.  I desire not to burden him with clutter but leave a legacy of the love of Christ.

Another step is to effectively live the life I want him be inspired by. Not only shall I write these things in a letter but I really must share these views with him on this side of eternity.  I need to communicate what is important so that he can just miss me and not have to be traumatised by any extra things that may arise when I’m gone.

I know this all sounds very heavy but it’s a reality and I want to deal with it as best I can. When Mum was  alive this kind of talk used to  freak me out. I can’t be freaked out anymore, there is no time for that. I am now a mum myself and I have a responsibly to my child. So this is a start of my expression of how I want it at my end. The letter to my Son will be private and shall be revealed to him at the right time but my everyday life wont.

This has been a hard blog to write, yet I deem it necessary. I hope it inspires some to talk about this topic and not to be too freaked out by it.

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