This is the second Christmas without my mum and I don’t feel as lost this year, but I still miss her. I was reflecting about what was important to mum and I know the Nigel and I were her priority and then later when the Grand kids arrived it included them too. The day before she passed away she babysat my Son. I’m glad she did as family was what made her proud and she got to do something lovely at the end of her life.
I’m glad I was the one who found her, I think she was counting on that as towards the end I noticed her confiding in me more. I think she knew the end was coming, I remember her telling me a couple of days prior to her passing that she was tired. We watched our mum bravely deal with her sickness and I truly believe that we were already grieving for six years before she died.
It’s scary to watch your mum get sick and the thought of her not being around is unthinkable and too hard to digest. She was like the strong tower in our life, the one who protected us from this mean and scary world. This is another reason why I’m glad it was me who found her and that I rang triple 0 and administered first aid. It was now my turn to be the mum and take charge, she was there at my beginning and I was there at her end. I hold on to that thought selfishly and with absolutely no shame.
So as Christmas is fast approaching I think of the year I had without Mum, no new memories but plenty of happy old ones. I am also proud of myself as I’ve managed life in her absence and I can feel good knowing that she was the best example of what a mum is.
So here’s to my Mum, we are proud of her and she is not forgotten!!!!